What You Need To Know About The West Elm Caleb TikTok Drama

Those who want to date in the 21st century have many hurdles, swipes, and profiles to overcome. It's an overflowing platter of choices that begin with which dating app you're going to use. After you've finally finished overthinking your pictures and written out a variation of "do you like pineapple on pizza" on your dating profile, you're ready to enter the pool of fine people who will reject you as you will reject them for the slightest incompatibility.

So, it feels like an accomplishment when you've found someone you actually like and they like you back. They're the light at the end of the tunnel and it's giddying to think about deleting Hinge or Tinder forever. However, if it doesn't work out, you're right back where you started and re-downloading the app feels like a personal attack.

Purely from anecdotes on TikTok and other social media accounts, the NYC dating market has a reputation for fizzling out romance. Dating consultant Eddie Hernandez noted that the gender ratio of 1.2 women for 1 man in the city can make it hard for men to want to settle down. While this is just a limited binary statistic, a treasure trove of stories support it. "West Elm Caleb" is another one of these stories that went viral on TikTok in the last week.

If you're not one of the over 21 million views on the #WestElmCaleb side of TikTok, here's a quick breakdown: A few women in NYC realized that they were sharing more than just the experience of dating in the city, but they were all receiving renamed Spotify playlists, romantic promises of exclusivity, and zero texts after a few dates all from one man. The serial dater who ghosts is a Caleb who works at West Elm.

In a very "John Tucker Must Die" plot twist, these women are warning others in the NYC area to beware the love-bombing tactics Caleb employed with them. Love-bombing, according to licensed counselor Tabitha Westbrook is often "done by a narcissist with the intent of drawing in and gaining control over the person who is being love bombed," (via Healthline). TikTok user kellsbellsbaby gave us a glimpse of this when Caleb told her he'd deleted the app (presumably for her) but she found out that he was actually dating multiple women at the time. 

Another TikTok user Kate Glavan, who was dating Caleb, also revealed that Caleb knew he was going viral and was upset because accountability hurts. While we can't verify who the Caleb in question is or diagnose him from these anecdotes, the TikToks reveal a destructive pattern in dating, which is manipulative and concerning. The takeaway is that everyone deserves better than the figurative West Elm Caleb.