How To End A Bad Date, According To A Dating Expert
You don't have to be a serial dater to know that going on dates and meeting new people can be just as daunting as it is rewarding. Sometimes, the stars align and you are fortunate to meet someone who makes time fly. With such person, the conversation is smooth as you both just glide through various interesting topics, there are plenty of laughs, mutual respect, and there are no misogynistic comments or other off-putting actions or gestures. There might even be some great chemistry and sometimes, a bit of sexual tension. You know, the kind of perfect night that no one would want to end.
Other times, however, as many people have come to realize, the whole thing just sucks. You know that kind of date: The type where you struggle to find any common interests with the person or anything to speak about for more than 30 seconds. It's the kind of date in which everything is labored and you really just wish you didn't bother leaving your apartment at all. If you ever find yourself in this nightmarish situation, just know that you are going through an almost universal experience and according to couples therapist, Meredith Prescott, here are the best ways to get out of such bad first dates.
Even if it's bad, keep it courteous when you say goodbye
There may be a temptation to disregard the other person's feelings when ending a horrible date, but you must not give in says Meredith Prescott, who is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and dating expert. In a chat with Elite Daily, Prescott advises that something along the lines of, "I appreciate you coming here to meet me for [insert activity], but I think I am going to head out," would be more appropriate.
However, you can do away with courteousness if the date has been a really terrible one, such as when the person has made really distasteful jokes and other horrible comments about disabled people or maybe if they cracked a racist joke or anything of the sort. If they ask about another date or about how you're feeling after the date, you can always tell them you'd like to sleep on it as dating coach and TikToker @findingmrheight recommends.
Whether mildly boring or completely disastrous, you should never feel compelled to say you had a great time if you actually didn't. "You don't have to say you had a nice time," Prescott adds.
There's absolutely no need to lie if you don't have to
You probably can't even count the number of times you've seen this scenario play out in a movie: Someone on a horrible date goes to the restroom and makes a call to a friend, asking to be put out of their misery. A few minutes later, the friend calls with a fake emergency. End of date.
As much as that or something similarly deceptive might seem appealing, that should not be the first thing you resort to. Meredith Prescott's advice is to try something honest like: "It was nice getting to know you, and I appreciate you coming to [insert date location]. But I'm not feeling a romantic connection" (via Elite Daily).
According to GQ, there is absolutely no need to lie about calling them as well. If it really is the first date, you're both getting to know each other and trying to figure out if there is a connection so don't feel like you're going to break anyone's heart by saying how you feel. The worst thing you could do is give them the wrong message that you're interested when you're not.
But hey, who are we kidding? Sometimes a little white lie might be absolutely necessary to get you off the hook. Still, be sure to do so with some kindness. According to Prescott, "You can tell a white lie, but you may want to think about how you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. Think about your values and how they play a role in dating." Your little white lie could even be dating coach @findingmrheight's go-to line: "I had a nice time. Have a great rest of your night" (via TikTok).