The Untold Truth Of Matthew Perry

The following article mentions addiction.

"Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" "On second thought, gum would be perfection." "Hi, I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable." What do these quotes have in common? They were all uttered Matthew Perry's most iconic character, Chandler Bing, of course. Perry graced the screen during all 10 seasons of the hit sitcom "Friends" as Chandler Bing (aka Mrs. Chanandler Bong) and left audiences laughing with joke after joke. Chandler was the quintessential guy next door; his charm and good looks left an impression on Courteney Cox's Monica Geller, and fans everywhere watched as the two best friends tied the knot. In real life, Perry's world was hardly a chipper sitcom episode wrapped up with a neat and tidy bow, but by all accounts, he remained a bright light through it all. 

On October 28, 2023, Matthew Perry was pronounced dead after he was found unresponsive in his hot tub. He was 54 years old. In the wake of this tragic loss, actor Paget Brewster was one of the many stars who honored his memory on social media. "He was lovely to me on Friends and every time I saw him in the decades after. Please read his book. It was his legacy to help," she wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "He won't rest in peace though.. He's already too busy making everyone laugh up there."

From athlete to actor to advocate, this is the untold truth of Matthew Perry.

Matthew Perry had a number of high-profile relationships after he became a household name, but the TV star never married. In November 2020, he proposed to literary manager Molly Hurwitz. "I decided to get engaged," he told People after breaking the news. "Luckily, I happened to be dating the greatest woman on the face of the planet at this time." Perry and Hurwitz's relationship began in 2018.

The relationship timeline had its rocky moments. In May 2020, In Touch reported that the two had called it quits. "It happened very recently," a source revealed. "It was very amicable, but they have both decided to go their separate ways." And while they did get engaged six months later, it did not stick. In June 2021, Perry confirmed in a statement provided to People that he and Hurwitz had called off their engagement. "Sometimes things just don't work out and this is one of them," he said. "I wish Molly the best."

Matthew Perry's struggles with addiction significantly impacted his time on "Friends." While being on one of the biggest TV shows of all time may sound like an entirely unforgettable experience, Perry admitted during a 2016 BBC Radio 2 appearance that many of his memories of the show are hazy. When asked to name his least favorite "Friends" episode, for example, the actor came up short. "Oh, my goodness. I think the answer is: I don't remember three years of it," he said (via Today). "So, none of those. ... My answer to your question is: somewhere between [Seasons] 3 and 6."

Perry tried to keep his addiction struggles off of his coworkers' radars to no avail. "I had a big problem with alcohol and pills and I couldn't stop," he told People in 2013. "Eventually things got so bad that I couldn't hide it, and then everybody knew." He touched on this again in a 2022 interview with GQ. "The cast of 'Friends' knew. Jennifer Aniston took me aside once and said, 'We know you're drinking,'  And I said, 'How do you know?' And she said, 'We can smell it,'" he recalled. "And that didn't stop me."

"Friends" had a number of high-profile guest stars, including Oscar winner Julia Roberts. And what a lot of people might not know is that Matthew Perry was pretty much responsible for getting the "Pretty Woman" actor on the show. Roberts appeared in Season 2 episode "The One After the Superbowl." The two-part episode, which aired after Super Bowl XXX, raked in 52.9 million viewers. It is the show's most-watched episode. 

As noted by The Hollywood Reporter, Perry asked Roberts to come on the show, and she answered him by saying that if he wrote a paper for her about quantum physics, she'd do it. "The following day, I sent her a paper all about wave-particle duality and the uncertainty principle and entanglement, and only some of it was metaphorical," he wrote in his 2022 memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing." "Not only did Julia agree to do the show, but she also sent me a gift: bagels — lots and lots of bagels. Sure, why not? It was Julia f***ing Roberts."

Speaking of science, it sounds like the two had real-deal chemistry: Perry and Roberts began dating in 1995. However, Perry's own insecurities got the better of him, and he ended up calling things off with the movie star in 1996. "I had been constantly certain that she was going to break up with me — why would she not? I was not enough; I could never be enough; I was broken, bent, unlovable," he wrote. 

As previously noted, Matthew Perry struggled significantly with addiction throughout his life, specifically to alcohol and Vicodin. Finding sobriety was an arduous, years-long journey. But it was a journey he did not give up on. "Something clicked," he told People in 2013. "You have to want the help." And after he found the help he was looking for, Perry turned to advocacy and began a lifelong dedication to helping those grappling with similar substance use problems. 

Additionally, Perry was a vocal advocate for drug courts, which would grant non-violent addicts treatment rather than imprisonment. Through his work, Perry said that he finally found "true happiness" and a sense of fulfillment that wasn't always a part of his life. "The interesting reason that I can be so helpful to people now is that I screwed up so often," Perry said. "It's nice for people to see that somebody who once struggled in their life is not struggling anymore."

While you may not believe it, as  his character in "Friends" is very physically unmotivated (just think of Chandler Bing trying to get a couch up a flight of stairs), Matthew Perry was a very gifted athlete. The TV star committed himself to the game of tennis at an early age. When he was in his teen years, he was nationally ranked in his home country of Canada. 

So what stopped Perry from being the next Roger Federer? Well to put it bluntly, moving to the United States made Perry realize that he didn't have what it took to make it big in the tennis world. "I was a very good tennis player in Ottawa, Canada — nationally ranked when I was, like, 13. Then I moved to Los Angeles when I was 15, and everyone in L.A. just killed me," Perry told Men's Health. "I was pretty great in Canada. Not so much in Los Angeles. It was insane." 

Shortly after Perry's realization, he figured that he needed to try another career path, so he turned to acting. His competitive nature fit the world of acting quite well, and as we all know, Perry made sitcom history from there.

In 2013, Matthew Perry launched a sober living facility called Perry House in a sprawling home he owned in Malibu, California. He joined forces with addiction expert Earl Hightower to create a space where men struggling with addiction could stay and receive support while in recovery. The year they opened the facility, Perry and Hightower received the Champion of Recovery award from President Barack Obama's Office of National Drug Control Policy. As Perry quipped to ABC News at the time, "Champions of Recovery, which is a very surreal thing, we're award-winning alcoholics."

Two years later, Perry put the property on the market. However, the "Friends" star had not moved on from this cause. Rather, the property just wasn't practical. "That was a Malibu beach house, and it was too expensive to run and the business didn't really work," Perry told The Hollywood Reporter. "So we're looking at smaller places in Santa Monica and Studio City. I'm keeping the business going because I like it; it's a good way to help alcoholics."

Helping others deal with their own addiction was near and dear to Matthew Perry, and he even jumped into the political world to amplify his cause. As noted by the National Association of Drug Court Professionals (NADCP), Perry was joined by NADCP's CEO, West Huddleston, as well as other NADCP board members in Washington, D.C., where they met with members of Congress to discuss drug court funding in 2011. The group, including Perry, met with the House Appropriations Committee to advance the support for the drug courts, and pushed the committee to consider an $86 million budget. 

In pure Chandler Bing fashion, Perry cracked a couple jokes while speaking on the issue, but given the subject matter, he got to the seriousness of the topic fairly quickly. "I'm here, of course, to talk about Drug Courts because they save money. They save lives. They save prison space. They save families. They save veterans," he declared. "Drug Courts are a proven budget solution. This is why it is critical that Congress fund Drug Courts at a minimum of $86 million."

Matthew Perry became a Hollywood A-lister thanks to "Friends," but his acting career began way before the sitcom hit the small screen. When he was 15 years old, he moved to Los Angeles where his dad, who is also an actor, resided. And evidently, Perry wasted no time in getting into the acting game. He landed guest spots on shows like "Charles In Charge" and "Silver Spoons" when he was still a teen, and even scored a main role on the short-lived series "Second Chance." He made his film debut in the 1988 flick "A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon" — all thanks to a chance encounter. 

As Perry recounted to the Los Angeles Times, he happened to be at a restaurant when the movie's director reached out to say he could be a good fit for a movie he was working on. The rest is history.

The film wasn't a commercial or critical hit, but it did give Perry a chance to act opposite River Phoenix. It also lulled Perry into a false understanding of success. "We had a lot of fun, but I was so young and naive," he said. "I thought, 'This is where the big stardom starts.'"

In May 2021, the "Friends" reunion hit HBO Max. All six members of the beloved sitcom's main cast got back together to look back on the show that without question changed all of their lives. Now, as much as fans may have loved this reunion, and as much as fans may have clamored for an actual revival series, Matthew Perry made it clear he was not into the idea of bringing back the sitcom's characters for some sort of reboot. "It would be terrible to do something and have it not be good," he told ABC News in 2013. "It was so terrific. If we did a movie and it sucked, then it would, you know, blemish it." 

Despite his lack of interest in a "Friends" revival or reboot, Perry still channeled his inner Chandler Bing from time to time. On Instagram, Perry regularly posted about his iconic character, whether he poked fun at Chandler's hilarious dance moves, posted montages of some of his classic looks from the show, and even shared a photo of the drop-dead hysterical bunny costume. It's safe to say that Perry had a huge appreciation for his character and the show. No wonder he wanted to leave it be.

Matthew Perry is a fine actor, a hilarious guy, and seemed to have a heart of gold, so it's no wonder that he connected romantically with some of Hollywood's biggest stars. As aforementioned, Perry was romantically linked to Julia Roberts from 1995 until 1996, but she wasn't the only star that the "Friends" actor dated. As noted by In Touch, Perry was later connected to Yasmine Bleeth from "Baywatch";  "Friends" fans know just how important "Baywatch" is to our boys Chandler and Joey.

Perry was also involved with co-stars; he dated "Gilmore Girls" star Lauren Graham, with whom he starred in "The Odd Couple." They worked together on a number of occasions, and tried to see if their chemistry worked off-camera in 2003. One of Perry's most significant relationships was with Lizzy Caplan, who played Janis Ian in the hit movie "Mean Girls." Perry and Caplan were a couple for about six years, but ended their relationship in 2012.

True crime fans, prepare yourselves: Matthew Perry was the stepson of renowned journalist and "Dateline" correspondent Keith Morrison. In a 2020 chat with People, Morrison, who married Perry's mom in 1981, gushed about his stepson. He's one of those people who always is the center of the room for a reason and it was so as a kid," Morrison shared. "He's an intense, talented, focused character. He's very bright. That was always the case as he was growing up." 

Morrison also pointed to Perry's athletic career — both in hockey and in tennis — as examples of his determination from a young age. Calling his stepson "talented" and "smart," Morrison continued by saying that he was not at all shocked that Perry landed his role in "Friends." "Him being selected for a role like that does not surprise me one bit," he revealed. "It matched his particular sense of humor precisely. That character is Matthew."

On an episode of "Watch What Happens Live," Morrison told host Andy Cohen that Perry is "a good guy" who also had an incredibly generous side. "He gave me a car," Morrison shared. The "Dateline" host also said he visited Perry on the "Friends" set a number of times. 

It's hard to imagine anyone else playing Chandler Bing in "Friends," but it turns out that Matthew Perry wasn't always the actor in mind for the role. "Two and a Half Men" star Jon Cryer was in the running, as was actor Craig Bierko, who was Perry's friend at the time. According to Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," Bierko ultimately went with another series that didn't quite take off (and evidently resented Perry for years). Director and actor Jon Favreau was also offered the gig, but according to Vulture, he ultimately turned it down to pursue other projects. 

Though he wasn't a part of the main cast, Favreau did make an appearance on "Friends." You might recall when Monica Geller was attached to a wealthy boyfriend named Pete Becker, who ended up pursuing a very odd career in ultimate fighting. Becker, who received a six-episode arc, was played by none other than Favreau. 

It seems like every actor has to pay their dues at some point in their early career, and Matthew Perry was no exception. Perry suffered a number of setbacks in his early acting years, with a couple of failed shows under his belt. 

Perry's first sitcom appearance was in 1987 in the aforementioned show "Second Chance." It was about a man, played by Kiel Martin, who dies and gets the opportunity to come back and coach his younger self. Perry played the younger version of Martin's character. The show was not a hit, so it was reworked and renamed "Boys Will Be Boys." The new version of the series, which followed Perry's character and ditched the whole death element, didn't stick either. 

After that, Perry did a couple of guest roles on shows including "Growing Pains," and then tried to go for sitcom success again with the show "Home Free" — but the show was canceled after a few months. Before arriving at success with "Friends," Perry was also tied to the show "LAX 2194," which never made it to the screen.

Show business ran in Matthew Perry's blood. His father, John Bennett Perry, was also a hardworking actor. But Matthew told NBC News' Katie Couric that he wasn't close to his father, their distance stemming from early separation; Matthew's parents got divorced when he was just a year old. John lived in Los Angeles, whereas Matthew stayed in Canada with his mother. "I didn't blame myself quite yet," the actor joked about the circumstance.

In a 2022 interview with People, Matthew reflected on the evolution of his relationship with his father. "When I was 5 years old, my parents put me on a plane alone from Montreal to Los Angeles. And I was terrified," he said. "And then when I saw the lights of the city, I knew we were landing, that my dad was going to pick me up, and I'd have a parent again."

One of the ways Matthew did connect with his father, however, was through the screen. John starred in projects such as "Days of Our Lives," "Murder, She Wrote," and "Little House on the Prairie." It was through their shared love of acting that the father and son bonded. "That was mostly the way that I saw my father when I was young — on TV shows, and you know, getting shot through a door on Mannix, or something like that. That's my Dad," he added.

Matthew Perry was prescribed addictive medications from the time he was very young. The actor said that one of his first experiences with an addictive drug took place when he was just a few weeks old. 

In his 2022 memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," the actor explained that he had been a colicky baby who would cry for hours on end. His parents, who were understandably desperate, took him to the pediatrician's office to see if there was anything that could be done. At this point, Perry wrote that the doctor prescribed him the heavy sedative, phenobarbital, to help him stop crying. According to the NIH, "Phenobarbital is a class C-IV control substance, and it is used for its sedative and anti-seizure properties in patients with status epileptics and alcohol withdrawal management. It is known for being highly addictive."

Sadly, phenobarbital seemed to have an intense impact on Perry during the first few weeks of his life. As he would later write in his memoir, "Apparently, I'd be crying, and the drug would hit, and I'd be knocked out, and this would cause my father to erupt in laughter." He went on to add, "There are baby pictures of me where you can tell I'm just completely f***ing zonked, nodding like an addict at the age of seven weeks." He also noted that he didn't fault his parents for medicating him. "It was a different time," he wrote.

Although Matthew Perry would one day become famous, the future TV star did not do particularly well in school. If anything, he was a mediocre student, who was more prone to cracking jokes in the middle of class than he was to actually turning in his homework. Because of this, he graduated high school with a lamentable 2.0 GPA. And, sadly, this meant that many of Perry's teachers did not see him going far.

Reflecting on this time in his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," Perry recalled, "I was also the bad kid ... I was also stealing money, smoking more and more, and getting worse and worse grades. At one point the teachers put my desk facing the back of the classroom because I talked so much and spent all my time trying to make people laugh." Out of a mixture of anger and frustration, a teacher named Dr. Webb apparently told him, "If you don't change the way you are, you'll never amount to anything." These words stuck with Perry for a long time.

Years later, after Perry had become successful, he still felt so bothered by his former teacher's comments that he decided to reach out. When he landed the cover of People, the actor finally made his point: Perry mailed the magazine to Dr. Webb along with a note that read, "I guess you were wrong." 

When Matthew Perry was growing up, his misbehavior stemmed beyond just smoking and cracking jokes in class. The Canadian-American television star also got into a schoolyard fight or two — and once he even went up against future prime minister Justin Trudeau. At the time of this altercation, Trudeau's father, Pierre Trudeau, was the prime minister of Canada, and Perry's mother, Suzanne Morrison, was the press secretary under his administration. Unfortunately, though, this unique link did little to help the two boys get along.

As Perry later recounted in his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," "I beat up Pierre's son (an eventual prime minister himself) Justin Trudeau." He went on to cheekily add, "I decided to end my argument with [Trudeau] when he was put in charge of an entire army."

Whatever bad blood existed between Perry and Trudeau, however, eventually became water under the bridge. Shortly after Perry died on October 28, 2023, the Canadian prime minister took to X, formerly known as Twitter, to mourn the loss of his former classmate. "Matthew Perry's passing is shocking and saddening," Trudeau wrote. "I'll never forget the schoolyard games we used to play, and I know people around the world are never going to forget the joy he brought them. Thanks for all the laughs, Matthew. You were loved — and you will be missed." 

In 1986, something changed Matthew Perry's life forever. He was cast for a major role in the film "A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon" alongside River Phoenix. For Perry, there was no greater honor than appearing in that movie with someone as talented as Phoenix. Looking back at this experience in his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," Perry would later write, "I got to know River, who personified beauty in every way. There was an aura around that guy. But he made you feel too comfortable to even be jealous of him. [Phoenix's performance in] 'Stand by Me' had just come out — which he excelled in — and when you walked into a room with him, his charisma was such that you instantly became part of the furniture."

Unfortunately, Perry's friendship with Phoenix would ultimately end in tragedy. On the night before Halloween of 1993, Phoenix died of a drug overdose. He was just 23 years old. 

Discovering that Phoenix had died was likely a rattling experience for Perry, who heard some of the commotion from his own home. In his autobiography, the "Friends" actor would later remember, "I heard the screaming from my apartment; went back to bed; woke up to the news." Naturally, the loss of a beloved friend and colleague hit Perry hard. The actor wrote that he "sobbed" as he mourned Phoenix's death.

By the time that River Phoenix died, Matthew Perry was already drinking fairly regularly. As the actor revealed in his memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," 1993 saw him misusing alcohol on a daily basis. And, when he did eventually try to get sober, Matthew struggled immensely.

Commenting on this in his book, the television personality noted the way that his own father, John Bennett Perry, had managed to achieve sobriety with relative ease. The actor recalled, "He went for a walk and quit drinking and hasn't had a drop since." For Matthew, this was not only shocking but also unfathomable. Compared to his own struggle, his father's story of sobriety seemed almost like a fairy tale. 

As Matthew would later write, "Excuse me? You went for a walk and quit drinking? I have spent upward of $7 million trying to get sober. I have been to six thousand AA meetings. (Not an exaggeration, more an educated guess). I've been to rehab 15 times. I've been in a mental institution, gone to therapy twice a week for thirty years, been to death's door. And you went for a f***ing walk?"

If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).