The Truth About Queen Elizabeth's Relationship With Camilla Parker Bowles

We know you're lying if you say that the royal family doesn't interest you — what really goes on behind closed doors intrigues just about everyone, and there is one relationship that has been fraught since the very beginning — that of Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker Bowles. If your knowledge of the royal family comes from "The Crown," let us give you a quick debrief. Prince Charles loved (and still loves) Camilla and maintained his adoration for her well into his marriage to Diana Spencer. Camilla was deemed unfit to marry the future king, but that didn't stop them from staying together (even if it was behind closed doors or exclusively on the phone).

Of course, the relationship that Camilla and Charles shared was torture for Diana, who spent much of her marriage fighting to be seen by her husband. She even confronted Camilla about the affair at one point, reportedly saying, "I'd just like you to know that I know exactly what is going on," according to Reader's Digest. But while all of this was going on, what did Charles' mom think of her son's affair and, of course, the woman at the center of it all? Here's the truth about what Queen Elizabeth's relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles was like.

It's always a bit tough when your family doesn't warm up to the person you're romantically involved with — a situation that a lot of us have probably been in. But what if your mom literally refused to even acknowledge your significant other? That's pretty brutal, but that's what happened between Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker Bowles. 

As noted by the BBC, Camilla had been "a dark figure" in the royal family, as far as the queen was concerned, especially given that Diana Spencer credited Camilla with the failure of her marriage. As such, Elizabeth "refused even to acknowledge [Camilla's] existence," as the BBC shared, which we can only imagine led to some really awkward conversations. 

That's not to say that Elizabeth had the easiest relationship with Diana, either, though. As noted by Biography, Elizabeth initially sympathized with Diana and tried to extend some sort of understanding of the marriage difficulties that the young princess and Charles were having. But as far as Elizabeth was concerned, "duty and service came first," and Diana's unwillingness to "get on with her life" took its toll on their relationship. Granted, that's probably better than being completely ignored.

Queen Elizabeth and members of the royal family at large are known for keeping their personal problems to themselves. As such, they're fairly tight-lipped in public and rarely give insight into their actual feelings. However, after a couple of cocktails, the queen reportedly spoke her mind about Camilla Parker Bowles, and Prince Charles was said to have heard the whole thing. 

Journalist Tom Bower claimed in his book "Rebel Prince: The Power and Passion and Defiance of Prince Charles" that the heir to the throne spoke with Elizabeth about her lack of enthusiasm when it came to inviting Camilla into the family (via Daily Mail). We can't imagine that he was prepared for her answer. The queen had allegedly downed a couple of martinis, "and to Charles' surprise she replied forcefully: She would not condone his adultery, nor forgive Camilla for not leaving Charles alone to allow his marriage to recover," Bower wrote in his book. She then allegedly called Camilla "that wicked woman" and expressed that she wanted "nothing to do with her." Charles reportedly retreated from the situation and immediately called Camilla crying over what had happened. Talk about drama.

A woman who changed the landscape of the monarchy, Camilla Parker Bowles has had a long road to win public approval following her affair with Prince Charles. Privately, the story seems to have gone down in a rather similar fashion as well.

Following the death of Princess Diana in 1997, Prince Charles stayed in his relationship with his longtime lover for a number of years until it became apparent that the only solution was to marry her. According to Vanity Fair, Prince Charles knew his reputation had suffered on account of his affair throughout his marriage and his subsequent treatment of his former wife. Understanding the volatility and power of public opinion, his mother, Queen Elizabeth, reportedly steered clear of her son's beau. 

The Express cited royal experts who claim that, upon Camilla's arrival into the royal circle, Queen Elizabeth saw her as a possible liability to the throne.

Here's where we get into the nitty gritty details, and it's not a cute look for Queen Elizabeth. As reported by Vanity Fair, Sir Michael Peat came to Buckingham Palace in 2002 to occupy the role as Prince Charles' private secretary. But instead of keeping tabs on Charles' schedule and organizing his appearances, Peat was allegedly introduced by the queen to help break Charle and Camilla Parker Bowles up. Yes, you read that correctly. Elizabeth reportedly believed that the relationship was distracting Charles from his work at hand and that the union in general had to be dissolved.

What the queen probably didn't bank on, however, was that Peat quickly took Charles' side and was supportive of Charles and Camilla's marriage. Peat's support, however, did come with a little bit of a catch — he expressed to Charles that he couldn't keep going around town with Camilla as an unmarried man, because the optics just really didn't look good. As such, Charles took the plunge and pursued his marital union with Camilla. But wow. The queen sure had some guts to make such a request.

So if we've established anything, it's that Queen Elizabeth did not like Camilla Parker Bowles, especially when she was still coming onto the royal scene. As noted by The Telegraph, the queen eventually accepted the fact that Charles and Camilla would be spotted in public together, but in private, she didn't support of the relationship and certainly did not see it as an asset. 

Despite the very obvious affection that Camilla had (and has) for Charles and vice versa, Elizabeth allegedly believed that Charles had "put personal concerns before duty," and if you're a fan of "The Crown," then you know just how important dedication to the monarchy is to the royal family. It probably wouldn't surprise you either to learn that Elizabeth was not the only family member who disapproved of Camilla. Lord Mountbatten, Charles' uncle, wrote a letter to the heir and said, "It is disturbing for women to have experiences if they have to remain on a pedestal after marriage," as noted by Marie Claire. We're taking a moment to pause for the very obvious sexism. One thing is for sure, though — Camilla was not a fan favorite.

Camilla Parker Bowles met Prince Charles in 1970, as noted by the Independent. The two shared a deep friendship, as well as an on-again, off-again romantic relationship, interwoven with their marriages to other people. But even when Charles made it apparent that he'd be pursuing a relationship with Camilla after his divorce from Diana Spencer, it took until 2000 for Queen Elizabeth to finally be willing to meet the future Duchess of Cornwall. 

As noted by the BBC, Elizabeth agreed to formally meet Camilla during the former king of Greece's 60th birthday party, at which members of the royal family were in attendance. King Constantine of Greece held the party at Charles' home in Gloucestershire, and it was there that the queen was finally willing to sit down with the woman who, in her mind, had caused so many problems for the royals. As the BBC reported at the time, Camilla, Charles, and the queen sat at a table "and so ended a much-publicized stand-off" that had been plaguing the family for years. 

It was also reported that Constantine could have been a factor in the meeting taking place, as he had been encouraging Charles throughout the process. But 30 years later ... wow.

There's not getting along with someone, and then there's actually not being able to be in the same room together. Unfortunately, much of Camilla Parker Bowles and Queen Elizabeth's early relationship existed in the latter scenario. As noted by the BBC and as aforementioned, Elizabeth and Camilla didn't formally meet until 2000, but before they came face to face, Elizabeth refused to be in the same room as her. The queen was in fact so adamant about it that she reportedly chose to miss Prince Charles' 50th birthday party solely because Camilla was in attendance. 

As you can imagine, Charles was reportedly "extremely upset" by Elizabeth's stance on the event, but it certainly seems as though she was unwilling to budge. Nicholas Witchell, the royal correspondent for the BBC, added that Elizabeth's trepidation and "persistent reluctance" in recognizing Camilla was in part due to "the problems the relationship could create for the monarchy." Recall that Charles' 50th birthday took place just two years after Diana Spencer died, so the public was notably suspicious of Camilla, as well as Charles' movements in the aftermath of her death.

It can't be a good thing when your future in-laws refuse to come to your wedding, but that was the situation that Camilla Parker Bowles was in when she married Prince Charles in 2005. As noted by The Telegraph, there was a lot of speculation as to why Queen Elizabeth refused to attend the wedding ceremony, and while the reports of tension were upsetting to her, she also didn't go on the record and correct them. Instead, the queen insisted that she didn't attend the wedding because as the head of the Church of England, it would've been against her position's moral compass. 

According to The Telegraph, Elizabeth told a friend, "I am not able to go. I do not feel that my position ... permits it." However, for a good period of time, it was reported that the queen was embarrassed over the wedding, as it couldn't be held in a church given that both Charles and Camilla had previously been married. Despite this, a royal insider insisted that the "venue was never the issue," but rather the decision not to attend was due to the queen's religious obligations. Still, not the best look.

A lot of the tension between Camilla Parker Bowles and Queen Elizabeth begs the question — why didn't Prince Charles just marry Camilla in the first place? That certainly would've saved everyone from a lot of drama, and Diana Spencer would've been spared from a marriage that was not in her favor. But according to The Sun, Camilla was seen by Elizabeth (and Prince Philip) as "unmarriageable," and she was reportedly banned from meeting the monarch. 

Royal biographer Christopher Wilson said, "The queen and Prince Philip knew everything about Prince Charles' relationship with Camilla; the Queen said I will not have that woman in my presence." Yikes. So what was the whole "unmarriageable" thing about? Camilla had dated other men before her relationship with Charles took off. As such, the queen and the royal family saw her as sordid, and not at all the type of woman who could become a ruler. Historian Dr. Piers Brendon said that it was "vital" to the royal family that the woman who married Charles "was a virgin" with "no past" (via Express). Charles dated a bunch of women before Diana, so let's take a moment to recognize the double standard.

Things have been pretty rough for Camilla Parker Bowles and Queen Elizabeth. From the "wicked woman" comment to Prince Charles' 50th birthday and everything in between, things have not been easy. However, during Camilla and Charles' wedding celebration, the queen used the occasion as an opportunity to dispel the rumors of animosity between her and the new Duchess of Cornwall. 

When it was Elizabeth's turn to speak, she gave rather touching remarks, in her own way. Anyone who has paid attention to the royals knows that horses, horse racing, and pretty much all horse-related things are big deals, and it just so happened that Charles and Camilla's wedding day was the same day as the Grand National horse race (one of the queen's horses was competing). As such, Elizabeth announced at the wedding that her horse had won and that she was equally as happy to be inviting Charles and Camilla to the "winners enclosure." 

"I'm very proud and wish them well," she said, as noted by Vanity Fair. "My son is home and dry with the woman he loves."

There are some truths that even the royal family can't hide, and a lot of what we know about the dynamic between Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker Bowles had comes from their shared body language. In December 2020, the queen and Camilla (subconsciously) provided some insight into their relationship, and it was all due to how they interacted with one another. 

As noted by Express, the royal family's Christmas 2020 reunion — the first time they had been in public together since the start of COVID-19 — provided an opportunity to observe Elizabeth and Camilla together. According to body language expert Judi James, "Camilla's 'awkward' stance was a stark contrast to the 'confident' queen." James shared that even though the family was socially distanced, the queen exuded authority and signaled to the world that she was still in charge. But in a stark contrast, Camilla seemed far less down for the encounter. 

"The queen then actively chats to the band, engaging [Prince] Charles in the conversation while Camilla stands back slightly, with her rigidly-placed arms suggesting an air of tension or awkwardness," James said. Body language really does speak volumes.

Before you think that the relationship between Camilla Parker Bowles and Queen Elizabeth was all bad, it should be noted that they do have some similar interests. As you may know, members of the royal family have different organizations and causes that they advocate for as patrons, and many are closely aligned with their interests. Camilla and the queen both shared an interest in the performing arts, specifically ballet, and it impacted their public lives. 

As noted by People, Camilla revealed that she started taking ballet classes online as a way to stay active during the COVID-19 lockdown. "I thought it was going to be very funny and I was going to laugh at everybody toppling over next door to me, but I think we concentrate so hard we don't even know what our friend next door is doing," she said. But don't think that Camilla and Elizabeth's shared interests stopped there. In the same appearance where Camilla shared her quarantine habit, it was announced that she had become the vice-patron of the Royal Academy of Dance. Who was the original patron? None other than the queen. So it's not completely out of the question that the two women shared some common goals.

It's pretty safe to say that over the years, the public tension between Camilla Parker Bowles and Queen Elizabeth decreased. It's clear that the two were probably never going to be the best of friends, but they were spotted together on a number of occasions. Of course, it helps that they shared a common interest, and the two women just happened to be massive fans of all horse-related sports and events. 

As noted by People, Elizabeth and Camilla joined each other at the Royal Windsor Horse Show in 2015, and appeared to have quite a good time together. The sighting of the two began with Camilla greeting the queen hello, with the standard double cheek kiss and curtsy, and then they were off to enjoy the event. Both were seen engaging in what looked like very cordial and happy conversation, and they even watched one of the queen's horses compete and place in the Novice Heavyweight Hunter contest.

Since the royal family bows to public opinion to keep their positions secure, it makes sense that the queen had reservations about being connected to his son's former mistress. Vanity Fair chronicled the intense public relations campaign that the couple underwent to help the public accept their eventual marriage. In 2005, the outlet noted, Prince Charles asked Camilla to marry him after speaking with his sons and his mother. Of course, the debate over her new title, how the service should be carried out and more schisms raged on. Rather than taking the title Princess of Wales, she would be called the Duchess of Cornwall.

Before Queen Elizabeth's death, the queen seemed friendly as ever with her daughter-in-law. As the British people softened in their attitudes towards the duchess, it appeared that the queen's followed suit. Indeed, in March 2021, the two teamed up for a video conferencing call in which they spoke with people on the front lines of the pandemic, thanking them for their service, People reported. 

Even though the first years were rocky and uncomfortable, the queen gave her blessing to her son's marriage, asked Camilla to sit next to her for the Diamond Jubilee procession, and bestowed various honors upon her daughter-in-law (via Express). The two seemed to get along just fine after the ice thawed around Prince Charles and the situation with Princess Diana.

A question that has come up frequently in the past and now seems plenty ripe for re-investigation is this: given how well Charles and Camilla appear to work as a couple, why, then, didn't they just get married in the first place? Like, why put their first spouses through the excruciating torture of being somehow, inexorably, just not enough? Although it's never been verified, and now that Elizabeth has died, it may never be, there appears to be a valid reason to speculate that Elizabeth played at least some role in keeping Charles and Camilla apart before either of them married their first spouses. As Marie Claire points out, Charles and Camilla's relationship ended when Charles was sent away to an overseas military assignment. If the queen hadn't been behind that, who then? 

That's actually a trick question — because it seems that others may well have been involved. To wit, it's been said that Camilla Parker-Bowles' own father, Bruce Shand, not only preferred that Camilla marry Andrew Parker-Bowles, but went so far as to force Andrew's hand by placing a fake engagement announcement for The Times, per royal biographer, Sally Bedell Smith (via Reader's Digest). But Shand can probably be forgiven given that he may have been pivotal in getting Charles to ask for Camilla's hand in marriage, according to The Guardian. 

The late Queen Elizabeth II's regard for Camilla Parker-Bowles evolved substantially from its low point in 2002 when Elizabeth reportedly paid Michael Peat to try to get Charles to break up with Camilla (via Vanity Fair). It evolved so much that in February 2022, Elizabeth did everything but issue a Letters Patent to proclaim that upon her death, Camilla would be queen, just as Elizabeth's mother and Charles' grandmother, the former Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon and later, Duchess of York, had been when her husband, George VI was king, according to Elizabeth's own words, as reprinted on the royal family website. More on how that went down below. 

All of that said, even in the early years of Charles and Camilla's post-Diana relationship, there were moments during which Elizabeth demonstrated kindness and even affection for Camilla, per South China Morning Post. For example, the ring with which Charles proposed to Camilla in February 2005 was a family heirloom that had been gifted from Elizabeth to Charles for that purpose. Before Elizabeth's having it, it had not only belonged to but had been cherished as a favorite by the Queen Mother.

By the time Charles and Camilla became engaged in February 2005, Elizabeth had presumably gotten past the point of allegedly scheming to break the two up. After all, she allowed Charles to propose to Camilla with a diamond engagement ring that had once been a favorite and had been handed down to Elizabeth from the Queen Mother (via Vanity Fair). However, it seems it wasn't until the wedding itself that the relationship between Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker-Bowles truly began to flourish, according to South China Morning Post.

Perhaps Elizabeth just needed to see that Charles and Camilla were both, and equally, serious about their commitment to one another. Before the wedding, Elizabeth had, after all, joked to Charles that there might not be enough Welsh gold for him to get married a third time (via Daily Mail). In any case, soon after the 2005 wedding of Charles and Camilla, the queen and Camilla began appearing together at official events. It seems almost as if the only thing that stood between the two women in Charles' life was the absence of a marriage certificate because, as SCMP points out, Elizabeth and Camilla had quite a lot in common, including their shared interest in everything equestrian-related. 

King Charles III and his mother, the late Queen Elizabeth II, didn't always have the smoothest of relationships. Their relationship as mother and son (as distinguished from their relationship as coworkers in the Firm) was downright complicated, according to Vanity Fair. But just as Charles' marriage to Camilla appears to have been pivotal in the care and feeding of the relationship between Queen Elizabeth and Camilla Parker-Bowles, it may also have done a lot toward improving the sometimes-strained, sometimes-sometimes awkward relationship between Elizabeth and Charles (via Daily Mail). Or, it could be that Elizabeth's warming up to the love of Charles' life may have had a hand in bridging the distance between mother and son. It was, after all, a long time coming.

We can say that by the time Charles celebrated his 70th birthday in 2018, the Queen had spoken of her first-born son with a level of warmth that had previously been unseen. In Elizabeth's toast to Charles on that occasion, she honored his dedication to the throne and his commitment to conservation and the arts while also speaking of him as a "wonderful father." Interestingly, Elizabeth spent equal time lauding Camilla for her support and stable influence. "Sustained by his wife, Camilla, he is his own man, passionate and creative," Elizabeth observed just before raising her glass to the "duchy original." 

When King Charles III married Queen Consort Camilla in 2005, a spokesperson for the couple assured the public that Camilla would never be referred to as Princess of Wales (via Vanity Fair). That title had, until shortly after the death of Queen Elizbeth, been associated with only one woman for as long as anyone could remember, and this assurance seemed necessary to assuage lingering resentment by the British people over how Charles and Camilla treated Charles' first wife, Diana, Princess of Wales.

The public was also assured, more conditionally, that when Charles acceded to the throne, Camilla would be his "Princess Consort," as opposed to Queen Consort, according to W Magazine. And we say "conditionally" because the truth is that no wife of a hereditary monarch in the history of the British monarchy has ever been titled anything but "Queen Consort" or addressed as anything other than terms such as "Queen Elizabeth," "Queen Mary," and "Queen Alexandra" (per Historic UK). 

However, no one seemed to question this until 2020, when a palace spokesperson reassured the public that the duchess' future title would be Princess Consort, per The Times. So it shouldn't have been too much of a surprise when Queen Elizabeth announced in February 2022 that it was her wish that when the time came, Camilla would be known as Queen Consort, per the royal family website. Of course, some were quite surprised (via YouTube).

There's a long history of relatives marrying relatives within the royal family, according to Reader's Digest, which rattles off 12 instances — not even including the possibility that King Charles III may be related to his wife, the Queen Consort, Camilla. The fact is, however, that Charles and Camilla may be distant cousins. The reason — juicy with scandal and irony as it is, is that King Charles' great-great-grandfather, King Edward VII, the great grandfather of Queen Elizabeth, was known to have a long-term mistress, notwithstanding his marriage to Queen Alexandra. And that mistress was Alice Keppel, who was none other than Queen Camilla's great-grandmother, according to Daily Mail.

Born Alice Frederica Edmonstone, the socialite known as "Freddie," married George Keppel in 1891 at age 23, according to Town & Country. In 1898, at the age of 29, Mrs. Keppel embarked upon an illicit romance with King Edward, which did not end until 12 years later, upon the king's death. Some, including Ancestry, believe that Keppel's second daughter, Sonia, who was born in 1900, per Geneagraphie, was the illegitimate child of King Edward. Sonia's daughter, Rosalind Cubbit Shand, was the paternal grandmother of Camilla Parker-Bowles (via FameChain). If Sonia Keppel Cubbit were, in fact, the great-great-grandmother of Camilla, that would make Camilla and Charles half-third cousins.

While some solely blame the royal family for keeping Camilla and Charles apart, rather than marrying when they were both still young enough to have had children together, the fact is that Camilla, not being a member of the royal family, at least not legitimately, had some degree of agency in deciding whom she married. According to the Daily Mail, Camilla liked the Prince of Wales but preferred Andrew Parker-Bowles (pictured above left in 2022). It's been said she'd have married him sooner, but Andrew, who was something of a ladies' man back in the day, had begun dating Charles' younger sister, Princess Anne (shown above right), while he and Camilla were on a break (via Town & Country). 

One notable difference in the relationship dynamics between Charles and Camilla, on the one hand, and Andrew and Anne, on the other, is that Andrew, it seems, was considered a more suitable partner for Anne than Camilla was for Charles. In fact, when Andrew and Anne were dating in the early 70s, Queen Elizabeth II apparently liked Andrew well enough that she extended an invitation to him to join the royal family on holiday at Windsor Castle for Ascot Week. But no one should feel too outraged on Camilla's behalf because it's been said by many that she was dating Charles, at the time, primarily to make Andrew jealous.

"Elizabeth II was skeptical about Camilla when she married [Charles,] and the circumstances were certainly challenging," a presumably reliable source told Us Weekly, but that didn't deter Camilla from hitting the ground running and quickly demonstrating to Elizabeth that she was, indeed, a valuable asset to the queen, the royal family, and to the reputation of the monarchy, in general. Upon marrying Charles, Camilla became one of the hardest-working senior royals, providing much-needed support to the Firm in its charitable endeavors (via CNN).

In 2016, as Elizabeth II continued to pare down her activity on the royal calendar, she passedseveralf royal patronages onto Camilla, including at Barnardo's, Battersea Dogs & Cats Home, and The Royal School of Needlework, according to the website that Charles and Camilla maintained during Charles' tenure as Prince of Wales. By 2018, Camilla had added The Royal Society of Literature to her litany of royal patronages. At the time of Queen Elizabeth's death, Camilla was either Patron or President of over 90 charities, according to the same website, which appears not to have been updated to reflect that Camilla is now Queen Consort. 

In her time as Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla gravitated toward charities supporting arts and culture, animal welfare, health, literacy, the impoverished, the elderly, victims of sexual assault and abuse, and domestic violence. Presumably, the list will expand going forward.

When earlier, we said that no one should really have been all that surprised when Queen Elizabeth made her wishes clear in February 2022 that when the time came, Camilla would be accepted by the British people as Charles' Queen Consort; one of the reasons is that in 2016, Elizabeth appointed Camilla to her Privy Council. Given that the Privy Council comprises the monarch's senior advisors, this was seen as a move that begged the question: Was Camilla being prepped to one day be created "Her Majesty the Queen Consort" (via Express)? 

Indeed, in December 2021, Elizabeth II took the queen-grooming even further by naming Camilla to the Order of the Garter, according to Harper's Bazaar. Founded in the 14th century by King Edward III, the Order of the Garter- the regalia Charles and Camilla are wearing in the photo above — stands as the highest order of knighthood attainable in the British system, according to People. Notably, out of all of the spouses of Elizabeth II's four children, Camilla is the only one to have been accorded this honor. Only time will tell if Charles will appoint Her Royal Highness Catherine Princess of Wales, Duchess of Cambridge and Cornwall, one day to the Order.