The Heartbreaking Reason Chrissy Teigen Didn't Shower For Two Months

Chrissy Teigen celebrated her 35th birthday on Monday by sharing a bittersweet milestone with fans and followers on Instagram. She took her first shower in two months since the tragic loss of her son Jack. Mustering a tiny smile, Teigen documented on her Instagram story the heart-wrenching and simultaneously positive step in her recovery and grieving process sharing, "I just had my first shower in like two months. I've been taking baths because I couldn't stand to be in the shower. I couldn't, like, physically stand in the shower." She went on to add, "I feel really, really good. I feel very clear and very good" (via Today).

The birthday update comes on the heels of a post over the weekend that reflected on the process of grieving and healing poignantly sharing her experience as "brutal, exhausting, sad," and as noted in her inability to find the strength to simply stand in the shower, "physically challenging." And while it's obvious her loss is still painfully raw, Teigen is healing. She went on to say, "I already see the leaves as orange instead of grey, realized the sky is indeed blue and not black and horn honks on my forced morning walks only bring me to my knees half the time."

After the tragic loss of baby Jack, that Chrissy Teigen so bravely shared publicly, the world grieved with her. And now, as she begins to find peace and healing everyone, but most especially the women and families who have shared similar experiences, are finding joy in her steps out of what she called on twitter, "a grief depression hole."

The Cravings author further shared in her Instagram stories after her monumental birthday shower, "You guys have no idea, and I cannot wait to tell you some day. I cannot wait." Quickly adding, "I realised that just left you supremely hanging. I'm sorry. I just mean it's been a ride, it has been a journey, and I am happy to be back again" (via Marie Claire).

At first reluctant to publicly share their loss, husband John Legend now understands what inviting others into their personal experience meant, not just for his wife, but for all the women who have similar stories. He revealed in a recent interview with People, "I think part of what attracted all that love and outpouring of support for Chrissy was her having the courage to share her story with people and our story with people." Further reflecting, "Not a lot of people have had the wherewithal and the courage to do that. So many other families feel connected to us in a different way than they have before, and I think it was really powerful for her to do that."