Aldi Shopper's Toilet Paper Story Has The Internet Buzzing

Aldi shoppers, by and large, are a frugal lot. After all, they know enough to shop at a grocer that offers always-low prices on the usual range of staples (meat, milk, etc.) as well as even bigger savings on their own house-branded items including cereals and, yes, toilet paper. Even Aldi, however, hasn't been immune from shortages of the latter product due to panic-buying and disruptions in the supply chain.

One Aldi shopper in Perth, Western Australia, however, stunned the internet when he shared on the private Aldi Fans Australia Facebook group that for him, running out of toilet paper was unlikely to be a concern, at least not until 2025. Why is that? Did he stock up and buy an entire pallet? No, amazing as it may seem, this man, who was identified by Australia's 7 News only as Jacob, stated: "I have purchased one pack of 24 rolls in the last five years and no intentions to buy any for next five years."

How can it possibly be true, that a single 24-pack of TP could last someone half a decade? Well, for starters, Jacob's a dude. Men, as basic biology would indicate, need to use a lot less TP than women do, since they only use it for, shall we say, solid waste disposal. By our calculations, a 500 sheet roll of toilet paper should last a man for about a month, so 24 rolls could, in theory, last him about two years. Okay, so maybe this shopper's TP usage isn't as phenomenally low as we thought, but he's still stretching his supply for over twice the expected time. Is he just seriously having trouble going? Or perhaps he's making use of a TP alternative, such as family cloth? 

No, no, and no. Jacob revealed toilet paper conservation secret, though sadly it's a tip few of us can use. As he told the Facebook group, "Public toilet cleaning every two hours, so I use theirs. [It's a] two-minute walk." Must be nice, when here in the U.S. we often have to make do with port-a-potties, some of which seem never to have been cleaned at all, much less restocked with TP. Oh well, not all Aldi hacks can be as aspirational as all that. Still, the more frequently we run out of TP, the more often we'll have to visit Aldi, and that's never a bad thing.