The Truth About Netflix's Too Hot To Handle

Have you been going through reality romance withdrawal ever since The Bachelor's Season 24 wrapped up in such a spectacularly inconclusive way? Love is Blind Season 2 has yet to start filming, and Bachelor in Paradise (with or without Hannah Ann) is also on hold. Never fear, Netflix is here! Okay, so you've already binge-watched everything in your queue twice, and are all caught up on everything in your kids' queues, too. (Hola! Soy Dora!), but we're talking about something brand new.

Netflix just dropped the trailer for Too Hot to Handle, which features, guess what? 10 "young, hot singles," who are going to be spending time together in — you absolutely won't believe it! — yet another tropical paradise. Or perhaps the same one. For all we know, there's some island somewhere where the entire economy revolves around filming a never-ending stream of reality romance shows and it just purports to be St. Lucia or Fiji or whatever, the same way that Toronto has been known to stand in for Chicago on crime dramas. (Those mean streets, eh?)

Too Hot to Handle — which, BTW, premieres in just a few days, on April 17 — does have one aspect that deviates from the "sexy singles run wild on a tropical island" format we've all grown to know and love. These singles, who were apparently unaware of this stipulation prior to the trailer's being filmed (or at least, so Netflix would have us believe), are absolutely forbidden to hook up for the duration of their island vacation. Yes, they are allowed to fall in love, and many of them probably will, as the kayfabe plotline is sure to dictate. But not only are the contestants prohibited from consummating their newfound romances, they can't even kiss, and they're also not allowed any, um, self-gratification. If these self-proclaimed "sexiest people in the world" manage to keep their mitts off each other (and themselves), there's a $100,000 grand prize at stake. Should anyone slip up, however, robot voice Lana warns that "money will be deducted for any sexual activity".

Tune in to see how this "sexual rehabilitation" works out for everybody. A word to Netflix, though — if there's a Too Hot to Handle Season 2, might we suggest the chaste Madison Prewett as a contestant?