Who Was Gary Cole's First Wife And What Happened To Her?

The following words from Theodora "Teddi" Siddall Cole, the acclaimed movie and television writer and actor, describe her life and relationship with actor and NCIS star Gary Cole in 1997: "If I had the chance to write the script for my life 20 years ago, this isn't what I would have written. Yet, now, this is much better-in terms of spiritual growth. I'm really lucky and really blessed" (via University of Cincinnati magazine).

From their nearby birthplaces to their careers in the entertainment industry, Cole and his first wife, Teddi, had a lot in common. Although the couple grew up less than an hour away from each other, they did not meet until they were adults. Siddall was born on August 12, 1953, just outside of Chicago in Evanston, Illinois. She eventually made her way to Hollywood where her future husband was also pursuing a successful career in the spotlight. By the time she married Cole, she was already an established actor and writer.

Teddi starred in a number of movies and shows during her career, with appearances on hit series like the classic sitcom "Happy Days" and "L.A. Law." Later, she also joined the "Grey's Anatomy" cast for an episode. Sadly, the actors' marriage did not end in a happily ever after. Here's just what happened to Gary Cole's first wife. 

Like her husband, Gary Cole, Teddi Siddall's professional life was one on screen. She worked in the entertainment industry since she moved to Hollywood in 1977. The actor earned many roles in both television shows and movies, including "Hill Street Blues," "St Elsewhere," and the 1980 movie "Fade to Black". She starred in the 1985 crime thriller "Prizzi's Honor" with famous actor Jack Nicholson, as well.

In an interview with her alma mater's — University of Cincinnati — magazine, Siddall explained her love of acting. "I love auditions; I like the process, the cold readings, character development," Siddall said. "That's where my roots are," the acclaimed actor continued. When it comes to the dedication required to be a part of the acting world, she did not shy away from hard work. "You have to be willing to starve, to sacrifice, to suffer bumps and bruises," she told the outlet. "You have to be able to grow another skin and hang in there for the long run. But it's worth it ... if it's your dream." While it was not always easy, it was certainly her dream. "It's [auditioning] nerve-wracking, but if I walk out of an audition and I did what I wanted to do, I'm happy," she said. 

Teddi Siddall was Gary Cole's first wife, but theirs was not Siddall's first marriage. In 1977, the actor married Ronald Castro at the start of her acting career. The couple eventually divorced, and Siddall later met the man who was to become her second husband, Cole. Since both Cole and Siddall are actors, their meet-cute location is fitting. The couple met on the set of the show "Midnight Caller" in 1988. Siddall was visiting a friend in San Francisco who was part of the show.

Siddall's occupation took her behind the scenes as a writer as well as in front of the camera. While she wrote for "Midnight Caller," she later portrayed the character of Jeanne Dansby. Cole's role as Jack "Nighthawk" Killian in the show skyrocketed him to stardom. If it were not for the success of "Midnight Caller," Cole's future could have looked much different — both professionally and personally. The actor may never have gone on to star in hit shows like "Veep," "Arrested Development," and "The West Wing" — which also featured another NCIS star – and he may have never crossed paths again with Siddall if it were not for the series.

Cole and Siddall dated for a few years and married in March 1992. 

Shortly after their wedding in 1992, Teddi Siddall and Gary Cole's life changed in a major way. The actors' most important starring roles became those of parents. Siddall gave birth to a daughter, Mary Leila Cole, in 1993.  Although Mary's parents' careers occasionally required them to be away from home, both Siddall and Cole made a concentrated effort to focus their attention on raising a happy and healthy daughter together.

When Mary was just 2 years old, her parents noticed developmental differences and in 1995, Mary was diagnosed with autism.Together, Siddall and Cole sought various methods to assist their daughter with everyday tasks and learning.

"Mary didn't process information like you or I do, and did not pick up on social cues," the "Office Space" star explained to WebMD in an interview spotlighting autism. Siddall and Cole explored many types of therapy for their only daughter, eventually enlisted the help of a professional personal aide to assist Mary in her elementary and middle school studies. When she reached high school, she attended a special learning program run by The Help Group, a Los Angeles-based educational organization that focuses on the unique needs of students with autism and other learning disabilities. 

After giving birth, Teddi Siddall decided to focus more on her role as a caregiver to her daughter, Mary. The actor started taking fewer auditions and acting job, telling University of Cincinati's Horizons magazine, "I once thought I needed to be a successful actress to be happy." She continued, saying, "But Gary's got the career, now. He makes the money. I just get to go play once in a while (in a film) and have fun."

Siddall explained that when Cole was filming on location for long periods of time during their daughter's childhood, she and Mary would often tag along to be near him, both stateside and internationally. The mother-daughter duo visited him on set in places ranging from New Mexico to the United Kingdom. 

Siddall continued to act in a few roles after becoming a mother, but she found happiness through a new outlet. As Cole consistently got acting jobs, Siddall was able to be choosier and not worry about not having enough income if she were mostly a stay-at-home parent. Siddall balanced both through teamwork with her husband, as Cole was also there to focus more on parenting when his wife did take acting jobs away from home. 

Although Siddall accepted fewer roles after becoming a mother, she and Gary Cole still starred in some projects together, like the 2008 movie "Forever Strong" with "Gossip Girl's" Penn Badgley. The movie focuses on a troubled teenage rugby player in juvenile detention who eventually joins the Highland Rugby Team to win the state championship. In the film, Cole plays the lead character's coach, Coach Larry Gelwix, while Siddall starred as the coach's wife, Cathy Gelwix. "Forever Strong" did not mark the first time Cole and Siddall had starred in a film together; In 1997, they appeared in the television movie, "Lies He Told," in which Cole plays the leading role as an air force officer.

While they shared the same profession, Siddall acknowledged to Horizons, "It's a very tough field to be married in." She discussed the difficulties of seeing Cole's various characters' onscreen romances, saying, "We're in the business of learning to recreate human behavior. Feelings can get confused when you're in a state of heightened emotional affairs." The actor continued, saying, "If you don't have your boundaries and don't know where you stop and someone else begins, you're in trouble."

After Teddi Siddall and Gary Cole's daughter, Mary, was diagnosed with autism, her parents began speaking out. In an interview with WebMD in 2009, Cole reflected on how challenging it was navigating Mary's needs when there was not a lot of widely available information about the subject. That has thankfully changed. "It seems you can ask any friend, any relative and they'll be able to tell you about someone they know with autism. Or direct you to a good doctor who can help," he said. 

Still, Cole and Siddall used their platforms to raise more awareness. Cole appeared in a public service video for the organization, in which he encouraged parents to get their children help as early as possible to give them the best possible life growing up. Siddall, along with Cole, also wrote the forward to the book, "Autism Heroes: Portraits of Families Meeting the Challenge" by Dr. Barbara Firestone. Additionally, Cole was honored at an autism awareness gala in 2012 sponsored by Celebrities Against Autism.

Despite how happy a couple may look on the surface, there is no way to really know what goes on behind closed doors. To the public, Teddi Siddall and Gary Cole's marriage seemed like a strong one. The couple would show up to fundraisers together, and they often attended high-profile Hollywood events like movie premieres and red carpets, arm in arm. So when the news broke that they would be getting a divorce after over two decades of marriage, it was a shock to the public.

When Siddall filed for divorce in 2017, she listed the official separation date from her husband as February 8, 2015, TMZ reported. Siddall requested child support for Mary as well as spousal support. The actors never publicly addressed their then-impending divorce, and the two managed to keep news of their separation under wraps for over two years — no small feat in Hollywood, which sees some of the most tragic celebrity divorces.

As shocked as fans were to hear that Teddi Siddall had filed for divorce from Gary Cole, even more shocking news broke less than a year later: The "Happy Days" actor sadly passed away, having been found unresponsive in her apartment in Studio City, California, in February 2018. The 64-year-old actor died before the divorce with her husband was finalized, meaning she was still legally married to Cole.

As of this writing, Teddi Siddall's cause of death remains unclear or at least not publicly known. Like much of the "NCIS" actor's personal life, he did not reveal details surrounding his first wife's death nor the state of their relationship at the time of her passing.

Siddall's tragic passing was mourned by family, friends, and fans alike. The famous Hollywood star lives on through her filmography, writing, and her beloved daughter, Mary. The acclaimed writer, actor, and mother of one was laid to rest in Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles, California. Siddall's gravestone reads, "In memory of a beloved mother, wife, sister, and aunt," and it lists both her maiden and married name.