The Ups And Downs Of JD Vance's Relationship With His Mother

It's no secret that J.D. Vance has a complicated relationship with Donald Trump. In fact, the president has not only flubbed Vance's name multiple times, but just days after they were sworn in, Trump seemingly stopped pretending to care about the Vice President. What's even more frustrating is that Trump seems to be treating Elon Musk as next in line instead of Vance.

But Vance is no stranger to strained and difficult relationships. His 2016 memoir, "Hillbilly Elegy," sheds light on Vance's tragic, real-life story. At the heart of his rough upbringing in Middletown, Ohio, was his tumultuous relationship with his mother, Beverly Aikins. The two are on good terms today — and the proud mom even traveled to D.C. while recovering from surgery to watch Vance get sworn into office in January 2025. However, their path to reconciliation was anything but easy. Below, we explore the ups and downs of their relationship and consult Dr. Courtney Tracy, a licensed therapist and founder of the Southern California addiction rehab Exist Centers, about how Aikins's actions likely impacted Vance.

Growing up, JD Vance didn't have much of a relationship with his biological father, Donald Bowman, who left him and his mother, Beverly Aikins, when he was very young. Being raised by a single mom is hard enough, but what made things even more chaotic was that Aikins became addicted to drugs. According to The New York Times, her substance abuse started innocently enough. While working as a nurse, she took Vicodin to remedy a headache and was impressed by the results. This, unfortunately, didn't become a one-time thing, and Aikins began sneaking even more potent drugs like Percocet. She eventually got caught, lost her nursing license, and then graduated to heroin. "My brain loved it," she told the outlet. 

As she grappled with addiction, a young Vance tried to support her. "I had tried to help manage her drug problem, read those stupid books about addiction, and accompanied her to N.A. meetings," he penned in his memoir, per The Times. But helping someone with such volatile behaviors proved incredibly difficult. He recounted how she physically attacked him, forced him to give her his urine so she could pass a drug test, committed self-harm, and frequently disappeared — among other distressing incidents. The most harrowing moment came when Aikins made a direct threat against her son's life.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

JD Vance's relationship with his mom, Beverly Aikins, came to a head when she was put in handcuffs after a domestic violence dispute. As he explained on NPR's "Fresh Air" in August 2016, things weren't great between them leading up to the incident. At the time, Vance, 12, was staying at his grandma's house when Aikins came over to take him out and apologize to him after an earlier, unspecified dispute. Vance obliged and went with his mom, but something enraged her while driving. "She sped up the car on the highway [...] it seemed at the time like she was driving over 100 mph," Vance explained. "And she just kept on saying, 'I'm going to crash this car and kill us both.'"

A scared Vance retreated to the backseat, which enraged Aikins even more. She eventually stopped the vehicle, but out of fear that she would get physical with him, Vance got out and ran through a field to a stranger's house for help. His mother was then arrested and charged with domestic violence, which gave him conflicting feelings. "In that moment, I just felt relieved, and I thought to myself, 'Alright, I'm going to live another day,'" he recounted to Megyn Kelly in a 2017 interview. However, at the same time, he was devastated. "I was just really sad and felt very lonely," he said. "I'm sitting in the back of this police cruiser; they just arrested my mom." 

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

Over the years, JD Vance has proudly credited his grandmother, the late Bonnie Blanton Vance, for shaping him into the man he is today. While she undoubtedly had a positive influence on him, she likely couldn't undo all the damage caused by his mother's struggles with addiction. The List asked licensed therapist and Exist Centers founder Dr. Courtney Tracy to elaborate on how Beverly Aikins's battles may have impacted Vance. "A parent's addiction can create an unpredictable and emotionally unsafe environment, leading to chronic stress, attachment issues, and difficulties regulating emotions," she told us. That last part couldn't be more true for Vance, who has been vocal about his struggles with anger and controlling his emotions. As he recalled in "Hillbilly Elegy," he often overheard his mother arguing with various partners over the years. When these fights ended in heartbreak, he became furious. "When she lay sobbing in bed after another failed relationship, I felt a rage that could have driven me to kill," he wrote (via The New York Times). 

Years later, Vance still struggled to regulate his emotions. "Even at my best, I'm a delayed explosion," he penned in his book. He detailed an incident in which he yelled at and walked out on his wife, Usha Vance, after he believed he had botched a job interview. Vance sought the help of a counselor to reexamine his past and work on his anger. He wrote that while he'd learned to better regulate himself, Usha had also learned to help him manage his heightened emotional reactions. 

Given JD Vance's difficult childhood, he prevailed against the odds. After a few years in the Marines after high school, he attended Ohio State University, followed by Yale Law School. He and his mother, Beverly Aikins, didn't speak for years. She told The New York Times that by 2015, she was estranged from all of her kids and living out of her car. Fortunately, she decided to check herself into a sober living facility and took her treatment seriously. After getting released, she met with Vance, and he told her he was portraying her in a negative light in "Hillbilly Elegy." She accepted this, and their relationship has only gotten stronger since. "If the parent has taken accountability and the child is open to rebuilding trust, the relationship can evolve into something more stable and meaningful," Dr. Courtney Tracy told The List. She added, "Reconnecting in adulthood can offer both the parent and child a chance to acknowledge the past, foster understanding, and heal lingering wounds."

Perhaps if Vance hadn't written about his true feelings for his mother, she wouldn't have understood how she hurt him. "It was heartbreaking in some parts," Aikins told The Times about his book. "But it helped us grow as a family, and it opened up a line of communication that we never really had," she shared, noting that their family no longer tiptoes around the topic of addiction. Since leaving rehab, Aikins has remained sober, which Vance doesn't take for granted. During the 2024 Republican National Convention, he praised her, announcing to the crowd that she was 10 years sober. Even after all their ups and downs, he still made a point to tell his mother he loved her while on stage.