A Complete Timeline Of Charles Spencer's Complicated Relationships

Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, is Princess Diana's brother. Sadly, Diana's death was just one of many tragic events that Spencer has experienced in his life. While Spencer and his sister had a tight bond, their parents' divorce resulted in the siblings dealing with the emotional upheaval of not seeing their mother for extended periods. "Our father was a quiet and constant source of love, but our mother wasn't cut out for maternity," Spencer explained to The Times in 2020. 

In addition, Spencer was a victim of sexual abuse by a staff member at his boarding school and physical abuse by a teacher. Decades later, the Earl concluded that this trauma impacted his romantic connections. "When looking at the wreckage of my first and second marriages, I learned early in therapy that being sent away to boarding school at eight years of age meant that I had next to no understanding of intimacy," he wrote in his memoir "A Very Private School" (via People). 

Unfortunately for Spencer, his romantic life continues to be complicated, and his life in the public eye has made some of these situations even more fraught. The Earl has navigated three marriages and three divorces, all while dealing with his dating life being scrutinized. Let's take a look at these relationships.

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Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, and his first wife, Victoria Aitken, had a whirlwind romance. After a month and a half of dating, they got engaged. By September 1989, they were married. Five years later, Spencer and Aitken had four children. Sadly, they were already experiencing marital issues in 1990, when Spencer reportedly had an affair around the time their first child was born. "It turned me overnight from a deeply contented, first-time mother to a hurt, scared and devastated woman," Aitken recalled, per Daily Mail.

In addition, Aitken dealt with addiction and an eating disorder during her marriage. She later became an addiction counselor and was candid about her experiences. "The price of freedom is constant vigilance. I attend recovery meetings every week and I will do so for the rest of my life," Aitken explained to Hello! in 2004. Unfortunately, Spencer was purportedly flippant about Aitken's difficulties during their marriage. In an ill-conceived attempt to make a play on words about couples staying together through good and bad, Spencer reportedly said (via The Free Library), "Well, those of you who know Victoria know that she's thick — and she certainly is thin."

Spencer and Aitken divorced in 1997, and Aitken received a £1.8 million settlement. Despite their relationship difficulties, they were united in prioritizing their children's emotional well-being. They developed an amicable arrangement where their kids divided their time between their home in South Africa and Spencer's lavish Althorp estate in the U.K. 

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For his second marriage, Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, found romance with a former classmate, Caroline Freud. They married in 2001. Spencer and Freud's two children, Edmund and Lara Spencer, arrived in 2003 and 2006. Sadly, their marriage ended when Lara was just a few months old. "Caroline is heartbroken. She was shattered by his decision to up and leave," a family friend informed The Standard. While no specific reason was given, some speculated that difficulty resolving arguments, as well as the Earl's extended absences, took a toll on their relationship.

Several months after their separation, Spencer had already moved with Coleen Sullivan. She interviewed Spencer for a TV documentary while he and Freud were still married. Sullivan had been in a long-term relationship, but she broke it off after learning about Spencer's separation. Things moved quickly after they got together, and she soon got to meet Spencer's four oldest children. Given Spencer's tumultuous romantic past, Sullivan's father, Michael Sullivan, was worried about the relationship. A police officer, Michael compiled a dossier of info about Spencer and interrogated him when they met. "I did tell him, 'Don't mess with my daughter,'" Michael informed the Daily Mail in January 2007. "After our talk, he told me he'd been quite nervous and hoped that he'd put my mind at rest." Sullivan and Spencer were together until June 2008. Neither of the couple gave any specifics as to why the relationship ended.

Also in 2008, Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, began a relationship with Lady Bianca Elliot. By March 2010, they were engaged. However, six months later, news broke that Spencer and Elliot had already separated, and no reasons were given. 

To further complicate matters, sometime in the second half of 2010, Spencer met Karen Gordon when one of his friends played matchmaker. While Spencer found Gordon attractive, another emotion convinced him she was the one. "I wasn't blown off my feet by her," Spencer recalled to The Times in 2020. "It felt more like coming home to something that was right." Like his past romances, things got serious fast, and they married in June 2011. They had one child, Charlotte Diana Spencer. Gordon also had two daughters from a previous marriage.

Around this time, Spencer was reflecting extensively on his past. "I was so confused by my endless romantic disasters, deep unhappiness and two divorces," he explained to Fox News. Gordon had also used therapy after her divorce, and it was a source of common ground. Spencer later expressed his appreciation for Gordon's steadfastness during what he described to People as "four and a half years of the most profound therapy with very difficult undertones to it."

Unfortunately, there were numerous red flags in Spencer and Gordon's relationship, and by June 2024, the couple revealed they were divorcing. "It is immensely sad," Spencer explained to the Daily Mail. "I just want to devote myself to all my children, and to my grandchildren, and I wish Karen every happiness in the future." 

After Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, and Karen Gordon announced their divorce, Gordon remained at Althorp estate, before moving in January 2025. However, Spencer had already moved on romantically with archeologist Cat Jarman. Similar to Spencer's relationship with Coleen Sullivan, he and Jarman met in the summer of 2021 when Jarman was working on a TV project, and they participated in a dig at Althorp. As their friendship grew, they collaborated on a podcast, "Rabbit Hole Detectives," and "The Rabbit Hole Book." To their surprise, their friendship shifted into romance in March 2024. "I am 18 years older than Cat and so there wasn't even the possibility," Spencer recalled to the Daily Mail. "I wasn't even thinking romance. I was at the tail end of a marriage."

Jarman asserted there wasn't any infidelity. "He did not leave her for me at all. The marriage was most definitely over before anything developed between us," she explained to the Daily Mail. Unfortunately, according to Gordon, March 2024 was also when Spencer tastelessly ended their 13-year marriage via text. Spencer refuted this claim, claiming Gordon ended the marriage earlier that month, and he texted to acknowledge his agreement about a divorce.   

To compound the drama, interactions between Gordon and Jarman have been fractious. Gordon sent Jarman an email telling her to stay away from Althorp until she moved, calling Jarman "Charles' long-term mistress" (via Hello!). She also reportedly reached out to Jarman's husband, Tom Jarman, to make a case that infidelity occurred for years. 

Unfortunately, Cat Jarman and Karen Gordon are also involved in legal drama. According to Jarman, as Gordon tried to delve into the archeologist's relationship with Charles Spencer, 9th Earl Spencer, Gordon learned that Jarman has multiple sclerosis. Gordon then allegedly conveyed this info to Spencer as well as others. Jarman sued Gordon on the grounds of disseminating her medical information. "I'd been seeing him, romantically, for only two months or three months, and still hadn't told him," Jarman later explained to the Daily Mail. "Your medical history is the most private thing."  

Jarman's decision wasn't an issue for Spencer; he was completely smitten. "She knows who I am," he explained to the Daily Mail. "I don't have to pretend to be something I am not. And she brings out the best in me." Jarman spent most of her childhood in Norway, and Spencer was particularly enthused that Jarman treated him like a regular person and wasn't familiar with his royal connections.

While some of Spencer's friends had been worried about him repeating relationship mistakes when he and Lady Bianca Elliot were engaged, this time his friends were on board with his romance with Jarman. Spencer's also taken plenty of opportunities to praise Jarman's accomplishments. "She's a brilliant archaeologist," Spencer enthused to "Good Morning Britain" (via The Times). "She is Nordic Person of 2024," he added, referencing a professional honor Jarman received from the Confederation of Scandinavian Societies. So, it appears that after years of publicized relationships and personal challenges, Spencer has found stability with Jarman, embracing a new chapter in his life.