The Tragic Story Of Lily Collins' Life

This article contains discussion of eating disorders, substance abuse, and abusive relationships. 

Lily Collins' life has been surprisingly full of tragedies that tend to get overlooked because of her famous last name. The "Emily in Paris" star is the only child of legendary musician Phil Collins and his now ex-wife Jill Tavelman, and suffice it to say that people never let her forget it. As Lily admitted in a December 2022 interview with Vogue France, although she had a passion for singing, she ultimately chose to become an actor because she didn't want to be constantly compared to her famous father. Lily also weighed in on the nepo baby debate. "It was out of the question that people would think that I use a free pass thanks to my name," she confessed. "I'm proud of my dad, but I wanted to be me, not just his daughter. For that, I was ready to wait to break through." 

Meanwhile, in a chat with V Magazine that same month, the "Love, Rosie" star made it clear that she didn't receive any handouts in the early days of her career and dealt with tons of rejection for being "too green." Although Lily didn't quite understand the criticism, she refused to be deterred. In fact, it only motivated her to work harder to hone her craft and ensure that her dreams came true. Speaking to Marie Claire in 2014, she recalled how Hollywood agents would ask her the most unique things about herself early on in her journey, and she would inevitably have to say her family. After only working on a handful of films, Lily had a stunning transformation and with it, got some better things to share. Unfortunately, her fame also brought public scrutiny and criticism. 

In February 2025, Lily Collins announced on Instagram that she and husband Charlie McDowell had welcomed their first child together, daughter Tove Jane McDowell, via surrogacy. Unfortunately, the happy news was met with a wave of harsh criticism, with many people taking to X, formerly known as Twitter, to call the celebrity couple out for choosing to use a surrogate. Most critics took issue with their decision because they believed that it allowed wealthy people to essentially purchase a woman's body for their benefit. One commentator even went so far as to compare surrogacy to "human trafficking." While the "Abduction" star remained tight-lipped in the face of the intense backlash, Charlie responded to it directly with an Instagram comment that killed the haters with kindness. 

After the real-life partner of the "Emily in Paris" cast member politely reminded people that they didn't know everything there was to know about surrogacy or even a person's reasons for choosing it, he wrote, "It's ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume." Charlie continued, "And it's ok to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love into people's lives." 

It's worth remembering that although the sweet couple has understandably kept their reasons for choosing surrogacy private, Collins did mention that she was worried about her past eating disorder's potential ill-effects on fertility during her 2017 Harper's Bazaar interview. Even with that in mind, some X critics posited that they simply could have opted for adoption instead.

While discussing "To The Bone," her 2017 film surrounding eating disorders, with Harper's Bazaar, Lily Collins acknowledged that she developed an eating disorder herself in her younger years. As she reflected on how it all started, the actor stated sadly, "When I was younger, I wanted to reach this image of what I thought perfection was and I equated that with — well, with what you see in the media; you think body shape has to a lot do with being perfect." So, she started controlling her food intake to achieve these unrealistic societal standards. Her eating disorder was only made worse by the fact that Lily felt like she had no control over anything other than her food intake and appearance since she was a high schooler at the time. 

Meanwhile, in the "Mank" star's 2017 memoir, "Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me," she shared that her father, Phil Collins', complicated separation from her stepmother only added to her woes. Further, in her teens, Lily tried controlling her weight through laxatives and diet pills and then eventually developed bulimia in her 20s. The actor detailed how her condition made her feel completely devoid of energy, weakened her hair and nails, and left her dealing with constant throat aches. 

Ultimately, Lily's journey towards better mental and physical health started when her issues became apparent to her school. In her Harper's Bazaar interview, she proudly proclaimed that she finally overcame her eating disorder upon realizing that perfection was unattainable and her actions could negatively impact her desire to have children someday.

If you need help with an eating disorder, or know someone who does, help is available. Visit the National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).

While speaking to the Radio Times in 2020, Lily acknowledged that in her formative years, she was confused by Phil Collins' considerable fame. For instance, they were enjoying a low-key day at Disneyland when she was a child until a man wearing a tee featuring Phil's face approached them for a photo. Although little Lily was confused by the occurrence, she gradually learned to form a clear distinction between the man she knew as her father and the famed musician that everybody wanted to meet. Meanwhile, in her 2017 memoir, Lily divulged that she had developed a strained relationship with the "In The Air Tonight" hitmaker after her parents' split in 1994. 

Lily elaborated that she gradually started to see less and less of her father because he moved to Switzerland for the two decades following their divorce, and detailed how much the physical distance affected her. "I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he'd think I was angry or didn't love him," the "Mirror, Mirror" star penned. "And the truth is, I was angry. I missed him and wanted him there." 

Additionally, in an open letter, Lily confirmed that their turbulent relationship caused her to develop tons of insecurities, which she spent years trying to work through. Ultimately, though, the actor built up the courage to talk about their issues and found it in her heart to forgive him, noting, "I now understand that my frustrations surrounding our communication are not about changing you, but accepting you as you are." 

During a February 2023 appearance on the "We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle" podcast, Lily Collins reflected on an abusive relationship that she'd endured a decade prior. Among other things, her ex would emotionally abuse and bring her down by calling her a "wh**e" and "Little Lily" and making negative comments about her clothing choices. In addition to growing increasingly quiet, Collins also strived to become smaller physically to survive in the highly unstable environment.  The toxic relationship gravely affected her mental health but it had physical consequences, too: "My skin was breaking out. I was having these panic attacks and I had kidney infections. All of these weird physical manifestations but I didn't, at that time of my life, put the two and two together as your body is telling you, 'This is not something you're supposed to be in.'" 

The "Windfall" star asserted that although a long time had passed since she got out of the abusive relationship, there were still times when an incident triggered the memory and put her right back in that headspace. However, Collins was quick to note that her husband, Charlie McDowell, fully understood where she was coming from, and they'd had a mature discussion about it. Meanwhile, in a 2017 Us Weekly interview, the actor admitted that she was unsure if she wanted to write about the abusive relationship in her memoir because she still felt immense shame and confusion surrounding it. However, doing so only helped her process things better and consequently made Collins feel less ashamed.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.

In "Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me," Lily Collins also reflected on a tumultuous relationship she had with an addict. The "Okja" star clarified that her ex wasn't grappling with substance abuse issues when they first met, and it only became a problem once he started self-medicating. Devastatingly, addiction changed her former partner's personality, with Lily writing, "When he drank to excess, he worried about everything." She continued, "He doubted things I'd say and became incredibly insecure. I found myself constantly reassuring him of my affections, and there came a point when nothing I said could make him feel better." Ultimately, their relationship fell apart because her ex didn't want to face the fact that he was an addict. 

In another section of the book, Lily noted that her father, Phil Collins', addiction issues also brought her a lot of pain. The "Tolkien" actor wrote that although she had pleaded with her dad to seek help on numerous occasions, he hadn't taken heed of her advice. As a result, Lily constantly lived in fear that the "Easy Lover" singer would pass away due to his excessive drinking. Notably, in Phil's own 2016 memoir, "Not Dead Yet," he disclosed that he developed a dependency on alcohol when he was 55, around 2006, and Phil ultimately got sober in 2013. Considering her experiences with watching people in her life dealing with substance abuse issues, it's unsurprising that Lily told Nylon Magazine in 2012 that she steered clear of alcohol and drugs.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).