A Look Back At Harry & Meghan's Messiest Moments With The Queen

When Prince Harry married Meghan Markle in 2018, it felt to many like the start of a new era for the British monarchy. This feeling was further solidified when the Duchess of Sussex made her first joint appearance with Queen Elizabeth II just a few weeks after the couple's fairytale wedding and was captured in photos looking chummy and comfortable with her new grandmother-in-law. That moment was just as unforgettable to Meghan as it was for many royal fans. "I've reflected on that first official engagement that I had with her, how special that felt. I feel fortunate. And I continue to be proud to have had a nice warmth with the matriarch of the family," the former actor told Variety in 2022 shortly after Queen Elizabeth's heartbreaking death.

Prince Harry, who was known to have a close bond with his grandmother, also had nothing but fond memories of the late monarch. "My grandmother and I were very close, and we very much did have a special relationship. I miss her dearly, as well as her cheeky sense of humor and quick wit," he said in a 2023 interview with People, before revealing that Queen Elizabeth had adored Harry and Meghan's two children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet.

However, while the late queen loved them as family and vice versa, Harry and Meghan's relationship has been accompanied by endless drama with other members of the royal family, including his grandmother. Let's take a look at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's messiest moments with Queen Elizabeth II.

One of the first alleged clashes between the Sussexes and Queen Elizabeth II took place before Meghan Markle even officially joined the royal family. While there have been mixed accounts about what exactly happened, versions of the story told by Prince Harry and several royal biographers all claimed there was drama behind the scenes over Meghan's wedding tiara. 

For their nuptials, the Duchess of Sussex wore the stunning Queen Mary Diamond Bandeau, a loan from Queen Elizabeth's collection. However, royal biographer Robert Lacey's book "Battle of Brothers" alleged that Meghan's first choice was actually "a beautiful emerald headdress that was said 'to have come from Russia,'" per Express. However, insiders told the author the queen allegedly refused to let Meghan wear the mystery tiara due to its "sensitive origin" and the "scandal attached" to the piece. Meanwhile, Robert Jobson wrote in his biography "Our King: Charles III: The Man and the Monarch Revealed" (per Newsweek) that Harry allegedly "threw the tantrum" when Meghan wasn't allowed to wear her supposed original preference. Queen Elizabeth allegedly scolded her grandson over his behavior, telling him, "Meghan cannot have whatever she wants. She gets what tiara she's given by me," The Sun reported.

However, in his memoir "Spare," Harry denied claims of conflict with his grandmother, writing that Meghan was initially set to wear his mother Princess Diana's wedding tiara but changed her mind after the queen offered to loan her one from her vault. While one of the choices offered to Meghan was an emerald tiara, they eventually decided to go for the Queen Mary Diamond Bandeau. However, he admitted he clashed with the queen's longtime dresser Angela Kelly because she allegedly kept blocking Meghan from trying on the tiara with her hairdresser.

Meghan Markle's comments about Queen Elizabeth II before and after her death would have you believe that their interactions have been nothing but positive since day one. During her and Prince Harry's 2021 CBS interview with Oprah Winfrey, she insisted the queen had never been the problem but rather the people working for the crown. "It's hard for people to distinguish the two because it's a family business, right? So there's the family, and then there's the people that are running the institution. The queen, for example, has always been wonderful to me," the "Suits" alum explained.

However, Vanity Fair royal correspondent Katie Nicholl claimed in her book "The New Royals" that the American divorcée from Hollywood allegedly rubbed the 90+-year-old monarch the wrong way at one point. In the lead-up to Meghan and Harry's wedding, Queen Elizabeth allegedly scolded his future granddaughter-in-law in front of royal staff after she complained about one of the dishes presented to her during the menu tasting for the nuptials. "Meghan was at the castle to taste some of the dishes and told one of the caterers she could taste egg. She got quite upset, saying that the dish was meant to be vegan and macrobiotic, when suddenly the queen walked in and said: 'Meghan, in this family we don't speak to people like that,'" a palace insider reportedly told Nicholl (per Express).

Around this time, the queen was allegedly already not happy with Meghan's supposed attitude over her wedding day look. "The message from the Queen was very much Meghan needed to think about how she speaks to staff members and be careful to follow family protocols," a royal insider claimed to The Sun.

In January 2020, the world was left stunned by a bombshell announcement: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were stepping down as senior working royals. The couple's statement suggested the royal family had agreed to let them "carve out a progressive new role" that would see them split their time between the United Kingdom and North America and take on commercial ventures so they would no longer be financially dependent on the crown. 

However, Queen Elizabeth II's response indicated she had not given their plan the green light, and Buckingham Palace was unhappy with Harry and Meghan. "We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through," said the statement, per Today. Royal pundits speculated the duke and duchess did not warn the queen, but Harry later denied this, telling Oprah Winfrey: "No, I never blindsided my grandmother. I have too much respect for her."

While their announcement suggested they hoped to continue doing royal engagements, the palace announced a year later that Meghan and Harry's exit was permanent, and the queen decided "it [was] not possible to continue with the responsibilities and duties that come with a life of public service" because they were no longer working royals. Queen Elizabeth stripped them of their patronages and honorary military appointments, which left some of their patronages "completely blindsided," The Telegraph reported. The couple fired back with a somewhat passive-aggressive statement (via People), saying, "We can all live a life of service. Service is universal," which reportedly angered some in the palace. 

Following their royal departure, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle launched their new nonprofit organization Archewell Foundation and for-profit media production companies Archewell Productions and Archewell Audio. While Archewell has since become known as the couple's brand, it wasn't the name they originally planned to use for their nonprofit. A month before they made their big announcement, Harry and Meghan made preparations for their future by attempting to trademark Sussex Royal The Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, the name of their personal foundation.

However, in February 2020, Buckingham Palace banned the two from using "Sussex Royal" after they quit their roles as working royals, and the couple's trademark application was canceled. In response, Harry and Meghan announced via their website that they were planning a new nonprofit organization that  "will not utilize the name 'Sussex Royal' or any other iteration of 'Royal.'" They went on to throw some subtle shade, adding: "While there is not any jurisdiction by The Monarchy or Cabinet Office over the use of the word 'Royal' overseas, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex do not intend to use 'Sussex Royal' or any iteration of the word 'Royal' in any territory (either within the UK or otherwise) when the transition occurs Spring 2020."

The trademark drama allegedly added to the tension between Queen Elizabeth and the Sussexes over the couple's exit. "[The queen is] so disappointed that her own grandchild would heap so much embarrassment on the monarchy and bring all this unwanted attention on his family at the worst possible time," an insider told Us Weekly.

During the first year of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's new life as runaway royals, they quickly established that they were serious about their goal of forging their own path and becoming financially independent. They bought a mansion in Montecito, California, and announced multimillion-dollar production deals with Netflix and Spotify. However, perhaps it wasn't until the Duke and Duchess of Sussex sat down with Oprah Winfrey in March 2021 and aired the royal family's dirty laundry that people really started to realize there was no turning back for the couple, and the chances of seeing the one-time "Fab Four" of Harry, Meghan, Prince William, and Kate Middleton doing royal engagements again went from low to almost zero.

During the Oprah interview, Meghan and Harry made bombshell claims about the royal family, including that one of them allegedly made racist remarks about their then-unborn son's skin color, the palace was indifferent to the duchess' mental health struggles, and his dad Charles cut off contact with them after their departure announcement. Except for William's denial that the royal family was racist, the only response to the Sussexes' allegations came from Queen Elizabeth, who said, in part: "The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately," according to the BBC.

While she ended the statement by assuring the Sussex family they were "much-loved family members," a royal source told People that the phrase "some recollections may vary" was likely an "underlying jab" aimed at Harry and Meghan.

Opinions varied when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced in June 2021 that they named their second child and only daughter Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor after her great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth II and grandmother Princess Diana. Lilibet was the childhood nickname given to the late queen by her father King George VI and used only by her closest family members, including her late husband Prince Philip. Following Philip's heartbreaking death, Queen Elizabeth placed a handwritten letter signed "Lilibet" on top of his casket during his funeral.

Due to how special the nickname was to the queen, a debate quickly arose over whether or not the Duke and Duchess of Sussex had gotten her permission before naming their daughter Lilibet. A spokesperson for the couple insisted that Harry spoke with his grandmother about it beforehand and that "had she not been supportive, they would not have used the name," per the BBC. However, a palace insider who spoke to the outlet refuted this statement, claiming the couple never reached out to Queen Elizabeth.

The furor over the name eventually died down, but it was revived in early 2024 when Robert Hardman's book "Charles III: New King. New Court. The Inside Story" claimed one of Queen Elizabeth's former aides saw her looking "as angry as I'd ever seen her" after Harry and Meghan said they asked the monarch first before bestowing her nickname on their daughter, according to the Daily Mail. The couple's spokesperson did not publicly acknowledge the claim, but an insider did tell Us Weekly: "Meghan and Harry 100% got permission from the queen to use the name Lilibet. The report is not true."

Queen Elizabeth II passed away at the age of 96 in September 2022. However, even in death, she couldn't escape the royal family drama. In one of the few times they were captured in the same frame with the rest of the royal family since their royal exit, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle attended the queen's state funeral at Westminster Abbey in London. However, eagle-eyed royal watchers quickly noticed that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were seated in the second row rather than in the first with his father King Charles III, brother Prince William, Kate Middleton, and William and Kate's children. For the funeral, Harry was also not allowed to wear his military uniform and instead donned a morning suit like his disgraced uncle Prince Andrew. This sparked speculations that the couple, whose Oprah interview aired just a year prior, had been snubbed.

If there had indeed been some subtle snubbing going on, there's a possibility that part of the reason may be how Queen Elizabeth allegedly felt about the pair before she died. A source told In Touch Weekly that Meghan and the monarch's "relationship was irreparably strained when she passed." Katie Nicholl's book "The New Royals" also claimed the queen allegedly admitted she was "very hurt" and "exhausted by the turmoil" Harry and Meghan caused in the final years of her life, from their exit from royal life to their allegations in their Oprah Winfrey interview, which aired around the time Prince Philip was in the hospital and just weeks before he died at age 99 in April 2021 (via Vanity Fair).