The Messiest Moments From Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez's Marriage And Divorce

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's second attempt at romance was supposed to be the A-list relationship that made us believe in love again. At first, the reunited couple couldn't have seemed happier. Lopez gushed about their fairytale love in interviews, on her "This Is Me... Now" album and movie, and "The Greatest Love Story Never Told" documentary. 

"I always felt like there was a real love there, a true love there. People in my life know that he was a very, very special person in my life. When we reconnected, those feelings for me were still very real," Lopez told Vogue in 2022. In her "On the JLo" newsletter that year, she wrote about her elation that they were able to get back together after breaking up in 2004. "We did it. Love is beautiful. Love is kind. And it turns out love is patient. Twenty years patient," she wrote (via People).

But, sadly for J-Lovers and Affleck Aficionados, Bennifer 2.0 wasn't built to last. Just two years after they tied the knot and following months of major trouble in paradise rumors, Lopez and Affleck proved they never should have given their romance another shot and called it quits. But things were seriously messy both before and after Lopez filed for divorce. 

Jennifer Lopez is a social-media-savvy superstar who, as of December 2024, boasts almost 250 million followers on Instagram. On the other hand, Affleck doesn't even use social media publicly and has made a point of keeping his private life just that. So, when Lopez shared his very personal declarations of love with the world, it was very messy. In "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," Lopez was in the studio creating her "This Is Me ... Now" album and told her collaborators (via Elle), "This book is a book that Ben gave me on our first Christmas back together, it is every letter and email that we wrote to each other from 20 years ago and today." But she seemingly didn't ask Affleck's permission first to share the book.

Her then-husband said in the documentary, "I was like, 'You've been showing all the musicians all these letters?' They were like, 'Yeah, we call you Pen Affleck.'" He added, "I did really find the beauty, and the poetry, and the irony in the fact that it's the greatest love story never told, and if you're making a record about it, that seems kind of like telling it." The move raised eyebrows and sparked speculation post-split it could have contributed to the two going their separate ways.

Affleck also admitted he'd originally told Lopez he didn't want their life on social media because their relationship was so heavily publicized the first time. But the actor soon realized that wouldn't happen. "We're just two people with different approaches, trying to learn to compromise," he said.

In the days that followed Jennifer Lopez's divorce filing, some less-than-flattering stories about Ben Affleck made headlines. A source claimed to People in August 2024 — three months after Lopez canceled her tour amid deteriorating marriage rumors — that Affleck's supposed ever-changing moods were behind their breakup. They even suggested he'd been sending signs to the public that he wasn't happy. "You could see the erratic behavior, the giant mood swings ... I think he was signaling a message to the press. But yet participating," the source said. They also shared, "[Lopez and Affleck] were trying to work through it, but when the mood swings and the big highs and big lows informed a toxicity that was pervasive, no one can help you — you have to help yourself."

Fans picked up on Affleck's seemingly less-than-happy moods in public, too. In May 2023, a The Hollywood Fix paparazzi video went viral and showed Affleck slamming the car door after opening it for J.Lo and she got in. It racked up 1.8 million views on YouTube and sparked countless memes on TikTok and beyond. After Lopez was asked about the attention the video, and others like it, received in January 2024, she told Entertainment Tonight, "Ben is doing all right. You don't need to worry about Ben, let me just tell you. He is good. He is happy ... I'm chilling, I don't understand what people are so pressed for."

A People source claimed Ben Affleck moved out of his and Jennifer Lopez's Beverly Hills pad in April 2024 — and she had no idea about it. "Ben began moving his things out of their shared home while Jennifer was in New York in April, effectively blindsiding her," they said. The source also claimed when Lopez returned to the West Coast, the actor didn't return her phone calls or messages. Ouch. That's why the insider told the outlet, "[The divorce] has the potential to get ugly."

The twosome then put their joint home on the market in July 2024 and began living apart, with Affleck soon showing signs he'd moved on from his split with Lopez. Potentially the messiest part though was that Affleck bought his new, solo Los Angeles home on Lopez's 55th birthday – which she celebrated in New York without him. That same month, a source told People, "They're moving on separately. Jennifer is trying to find a new home to start fresh." They also claimed it had been weeks since the Oscar winner and the Grammy nominee had seen each other. "Ben didn't come to celebrate Jennifer's birthday because they are done. Totally done. They are not getting back together," another source told Fox News.

What's messier than filing for divorce from your estranged husband? Filing on a day that's very significant to your marriage. Jennifer Lopez made the move to end her and Ben Affleck's relationship on August 20, 2024, which was their second wedding anniversary. A source claimed the date was purposeful, telling People, "She was done waiting and the date she did it speaks a ton." An insider also told Page Six that Lopez specifically chose their anniversary to file. "[It showed] a woman standing up in her own way," they said. Lopez confirmed their separation happened on April 26, 2024, in the documents, suggested there were plenty of other days she could have filed. 

The former couple had two wedding anniversaries, as they initially married unexpectedly in Las Vegas in July 2022. However, they had a bigger, more formal celebration involving family and friends the following month.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's relationship reportedly got so messy after her divorce filing they stopped speaking. TMZ claimed in August 2024 the once-happy couple was no longer talking or texting, which meant their official split lagged because they hadn't hired lawyers to help divide their assets. Fox News also claimed things had turned sour, with a source sharing, "They are not communicating right now. If she wants to talk to his kids, she goes straight to the kids. Same with him."

However, later that month, a source told People that Affleck was no longer in touch with Lopez's children, who she shares with former husband Marc Anthony. They claimed the "If You Had My Love" hitmaker still had a close relationship with Affleck and Jennifer Garner's three kids, though, and J.Lo is thought to have a particularly strong bond with their eldest daughter, Violet Affleck. "The fact that he has not seen her kids in a long time, it's like he left, but she is especially close to his kids," they said.