Hoda Kotb's Tragic, Real-Life Story

News anchor Hoda Kotb has had a stunning transformation and has become a source of inspiration for many. Known for sharing words of encouragement on social media, the "Today" correspondent published a book of inspirational quotes called "I Really Needed This Today: Words to Live By." Kotb has also inspired people through her own feats, like beating breast cancer, making it to the top of her field, and becoming a mother later in life. 

But, as Kotb would attest, she didn't become the woman she is today by living a smooth, easy life. Anything she's shared on television that's provided viewers with hope or comfort has come from something Kotb has lived through. The news anchor is well acquainted with life's battles, facing an array of difficulties since she was young. While she's certainly come out the other side, life hasn't been easy for the journalist, and there are many tragic details in Kotb's story. 

Unfortunately, Hoda Kotb didn't have a very sensational time in middle school. The "Today" star has opened up in the past about being bullied in the seventh and eighth grades, saying that those were awful years for her. "I remember sitting in front of the bus and listening to people make fun of me and just willing the bus to get to school," Kotb shared on an episode of "Today," adding that she couldn't wait to get to school so the harassment would stop. Kotb didn't understand why she was bullied, and it almost turned physical. "There was this one girl who always threatened to beat me up, and I was so scared of her," Kotb said.

Kotb didn't tell any adults that she was being made fun of at the time, but she's since used her voice to speak out against bullying. The news anchor has lent her talents to the Stomp Out Bullying campaign, sharing the story of a 16-year-old girl who was bullied like Kotb was. Kotb encouraged others to support the campaign to help teens become educated about the ramifications of bullying. "No act of kindness is ever wasted," Kotb said in a promotional video.

Hoda Kotb had a great relationship with her father. An immigrant from Egypt, Kotb's father moved his family to the United States and built their life, eventually becoming the president of his own company. The news anchor has shared that she learned a lot from her father, especially working hard and believing in herself. Unfortunately, Kotb lost her father unexpectedly while she was in college. Her father had a heart attack, and she learned the devastating news while at a Greek event. After her father's death, Kotb struggled to process the emotions, with her difficulties even causing her to fail a class. "I was marching around college, not paying attention. I used to wear glasses, I took my glasses off. I didn't know up was down, down was up," she said on an episode of her podcast, "Making Space with Hoda Kotb."

Kotb still struggles with the loss of her father today. The news anchor talks about him in the media often, sharing her experience with those who suffered a similar loss. "There is kind of this father-sized hole that just lives in girls, women like us," Kotb said on an episode of "Today" to Laura Jarrett, who lost her father at a young age, too. "There's something about having that gap, and how do you fill it and where do you find that kind of fatherly energy or love?" Kotb said.

Losing a loved one is never easy, and as Hoda Kotb can attest to, the aftermath can spill into all areas of life. In an interview with Prevention, Kotb shared that after her father's death, she unwittingly gained some weight. It wasn't until one of her bosses mentioned to her that she needed to lose weight. The first comment didn't bother Kotb, but a few years later, she received it again, and the second time hurt more. "My sister was saying, 'I really think you need to drop a few of these. I'm not trying to be mean, but chop, chop,'" Kotb said. "I think I started crying. I'd been on TV for a few years, and I didn't really notice."

Kotb still struggles with her self-confidence at times. The news anchor mentioned that she sometimes feels invisible, especially when she's somewhere with lots of young and attractive people. "There is a weird feeling when someone is looking at everyone but you. It's like, 'Hi, I'm here, and I'm in this group.' I really try, when there are moments like that, to excuse myself," Kotb said. But she certainly has characteristics she likes about herself, too. Kotb has embraced aging, and she's proud of herself for working a job and having kids at an age she previously didn't envision.

Rejection is part of life for people in the television industry, but some seem to have it worse than others. Unfortunately, the early days of Hoda Kotb's career were marked with struggles such as rejection and discouragement. In an interview with E! News, Kotb recalled hearing some awful words from a professor as she was studying to become a journalist. "I actually had a college professor who basically said, 'Look, it's a very competitive field and I'm just gonna try to save you some heartache. There's a lot of people there and I just don't know that you'd be one of the people who would make it in that industry,'" Kotb said, noting the hurt she felt upon hearing those words.

Kotb didn't heed her professor's advice, believing in her own desire to make her career happen. The anchor had to work hard to make her career happen. After college, Kotb visited news station after news station in search of a job, getting turned down at nearly every one. Finally, Kotb got a call from a station in Mississippi and took the job. "I didn't have talent. I didn't have experience. I didn't really have the TV look. I had none of the things you need in our industry... I was zero for zero, but [the news director] must have just thought something," Kotb said of getting the job.

Hoda Kotb is worth millions now thanks to her long career in television – Kotb was making a staggering amount of money before leaving NBC — but she wasn't always flush with cash. In fact, when she entered the working world, Hoda had to lean on her brother, Adel Kotb, for major support. "When I got my first job out of college in Mississippi, I was flat broke. And I needed a car," Hoda said in her book "Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee." "Adel had worked all summer at a Church's Chicken, pocketing a total of $1,000. He saved every dime," she continued. "The car dealer was demanding that I put money down. Adel gave me his entire summer salary to buy that car. Without hesitation, he wrote me a check." Hoda said her brother never mentioned the money he spotted her, and the two are still close today.

It took a while for Hoda's financial situation to improve, though. Even though she was hired as a correspondent at "Dateline" in the late '90s, she still had money issues due to low pay. "I remember thinking to myself, 'I can't pay my bills here,'" Hoda said on an episode of "Today," as reported by People. "I couldn't pay all my bills at the same time. So I was like, 'I'll pay this one, and then pay that one.'" The anchor was making less than the male correspondents, but it took her some time to find the confidence to ask for a raise.

Hoda Kotb has been open about most of the tragedies in her life, but she's been the most vocal about her journey with cancer. The news anchor was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2007, and the diagnosis has been a major part of her life ever since. After learning of her diagnosis, Kotb faced the difficult road of treatment, and it took her some time to find a doctor she wanted to work with. Once Kotb found a doctor she liked, she had to agree to a treatment plan. "There was some question about [whether or not I should have] chemotherapy: one doctor said you should have chemo; one said you don't have to have chemo; one said you can't make a mistake either way. I opted not to do chemo because it wasn't in my lymph nodes," Kotb said in an interview for Cancer Connect.

Upon diagnosis, Kotb initially planned to keep her medical news private. After all, many celebrity health struggles completely fly under the radar because stars choose to keep these details to themselves. "I wanted to forget about it, but someone encouraged me to say something," Kotb said on an episode of "Today." Although the news anchor could see the positives to sharing her diagnosis, there was one aspect of sharing that she wasn't a fan of: "The one downside is people look at you with pity. And I have to say, for me personally, that's one of the hardest looks to ever get," Kotb said.

Hoda Kotb's cancer diagnosis left her with another unfortunate reality. Because of the treatment she received to cure her breast cancer, the news anchor was unable to carry her own children. Kotb opened up about learning the news in an interview with Good Housekeeping. "My oncologist called and we were talking about freezing my eggs. She basically said that given my age and [my breast cancer treatment], it was pretty close to a dead end. I was in my room and I just sobbed," Kotb said of learning the news. "The reality seemed impossible to bear. How do you survive knowing you can't have what you desire and what you feel like you actually physically need?"

Although Kotb has gotten painfully real about her journey to motherhood, it ultimately didn't end in heartbreak. Kotb adopted two children, Haley Joy and Hope Catherine, in 2017 and 2019, respectively, with her then-fiance Joel Schiffman. Although Kotb knows that there are difficulties now and will be in the future due to her having children later in life, the journalist chooses to see the positives of being an older mom. "I find myself being so much more patient and calm than I ever would have been at a younger age. You realize we sometimes blow things out of proportion," Kotb said.

Sadly, 2007 was not a banner year for Hoda Kotb. In addition to being diagnosed with breast cancer, Kotb filed for divorce from her then-husband, Burzis Kanga. Kotb and Kanga, a tennis coach, met while Kotb was living in New Orleans. The two dated on and off for years, and they got married in the Dominican Republic in 2005. And things between the couple were great to start. "He proposed last May and we married in December. And married life has been great! We love just kind of knocking around New York, doing some Broadway plays, going out to eat," Kotb said of life as a newlywed in an interview with New Orleans Living.

Things got tough for Kanga and Kotb fast. Though Kotb has not talked much about her past relationship, Kanga shared insight into the marriage with Radar Online. The tennis coach noted that both Kotb and Kanga's father were facing illnesses, and those stressors, compounded by the difficult transition Kanga had in moving to New York City, took a toll on their relationship. "The divorce happened under difficult conditions. Those were personal reasons for both of us. In hindsight, there was [a] level of immaturity on my part, mistakes I made. It was unfortunate we were married for a short time. It's a shame it transpired that way," Kanga said.

Hoda Kotb's life has been touched by cancer in many ways. Not only has she fought the disease herself, but she's also lost a close friend to it. In 2018, Kotb's best friend, Karen Swensen, lost her husband, John Swensen, to cancer, and the news anchor was deeply affected by the death. Kotb has talked about the loss on "Today," and she also keeps his memory alive by posting about him on Instagram on occasion. "3 years ago we lost a great man. Still hard to believe.. even after all this time," Kotb said on the anniversary of John's death.

Kotb has kept John's memory alive in another way — through her own daughter. Kotb's second daughter is named Hope Catherine, and she explained on an episode of "Today" the significance behind the moniker. "Catherine is my best friend's daughter's name and it just so happens that this weekend when [Hope] was born, when we got her, it was also John's birthday — my best friend's husband who passed," Kotb said, as reported by Closer. "So it was a very emotional time for all of us and I said to Catherine, 'you're the strongest kid I know.'"

Hoda Kotb's romantic life hasn't quite worked out yet. Years after ending her marriage, Kotb started dating financier Joel Schiffman. The two were together for eight years after meeting at an event that Kotb didn't even want to attend. Kotb and Schiffman were engaged for the latter half of their relationship, but they broke up in 2022. "It's not like something happened. They say sometimes relationships are meant to be there for a reason, or a season or for a lifetime. And I feel like ours was meant to be there for a season," Kotb said when she announced the news. 

A couple of years later, Kotb opened up about her breakup with Schiffman again. "I think when people are growing at different paces, it's hard to be in sync. And I think a lot of people are probably in these situations. And I get it," Kotb said on an episode of "Today," as reported by People. Schiffman and Kotb share their adopted daughters and remain friends and co-parents. Others have weighed in on Kotb and Schiffman's breakup, too. As one source told Closer, Kotb regrets ending her engagement to Schiffman, but the former couple weren't on the same page. "Raising young children wasn't his priority, and she understood that. She doesn't fault him for his decision. It was sad at first. She still misses him, but she's moved on from that," the source said.

Hoda Kotb has had some scary moments as a mom. In 2023, Kotb had to take some time away from "Today" to deal with a medical issue her daughter Hope was enduring. "Hope had to go to the hospital, and she was in the ICU for a few days and then the hospital for another week and it was really scary," Kotb shared when she returned to work (via X, formerly Twitter). Though Kotb has not shared the exact issues Hope has faced, they appear to be long-term conditions.

Thankfully for Kotb and her family, Hope's been getting better. "We're in a place where Hope is thriving. She's improving, we're watching her, and I think as time goes on, we'll have a better handle on it, but we're already seeing great differences," Kotb told People. "We really have excellent care; I have people helping us out. I feel like she is finding steady footing."