Trump's Latest Cash Grab Lets You Play As Donald On His Golf Courses (But Can You Cheat?)

Donald Trump's cash grabs are becoming as famous as his signature hairdo and love of Diet Coke. Over the course of his 2024 presidential campaign, Trump plugged a long series of branded products ranging from trading cards to gold sneakers, a Les Paul-style guitar to a leather-bound Bible with the Declaration of Independence accompanying the holy scripture. Now that he's White House-bound once again, the divisive politician may opt to cut back on the merch shilling — but not just yet, it seems. Second son Eric Trump took to his Instagram Stories to share the news of a new app bearing his father's name and likeness. "So excited for this launch!" he exulted.

The app in question is "Trump Golf: The Game,"  which is available for preorder on both Google Play and the Apple Store. While the website doesn't offer much in the way of a description, the video on the home page gives a good idea of what players are in for. It shows an unseen user playing as the president-elect on the 18th hole of the Trump National Doral "Blue Monster" course. Players can choose an overhead or a ground view as they aim their stroke, and the app indicates how many yards the ball flies, along with supportive cheers ("Perfect!" "Tremendous!"). As with all things Trump, though, it comes at a cost. 

A basic "Trump Gold" version, with a mere "increased accuracy" and "extreme TRUMP Power," is $9.99. But for "max accuracy" and "full TRUMP Power," you'll need to shell out $99 for the "Trump Noir" edition. Either way, users are assured of downloading "The Greatest Golf Game Ever Created!" Greatest? Considering Trump's questionable reputation on the golf course, the game may not be as true to life as advertised.

The "Trump Golf" gaming app sounds ideal not only for loyal followers of the two-time president, but also for anyone who likes to win. Who needs the frustration of getting mortally wounded in "Call of Duty" or running out of lives in "Candy Crush" when you can pretend to be a golfer with a championship record? Granted, those achievements were won on Donald Trump's own luxury courses, and he's been known to cut a few corners to ensure his name goes on the trophies. Sportswriter Rick Reilly once wrote an entire book, "Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump," devoted to the former "Apprentice" host's dodgy golf maneuvers. As he explained it, "Somebody should point out that the way Trump does golf is sort of the way he does a presidency, which is to operate as if the rules are for other people." 

To turn the game to his advantage, Reilly claims that he regularly kicks or moves the ball if it's too far away from the green. Trump has also been known to have his caddy switch his ball for another player's better-positioned one if no one is looking. During a 2023 senior championship, the controversial politician skipped playing the first round entirely, instead using his score from a previous game to put himself in first place going into the next round. All the while, Trump lies and denies his tactics, which understandably doesn't sit well with lovers of the game. 

As Reilly put it, "Honesty is more precious in golf than the little white dimples." It's not likely that "Trump Golf" will offer the option of fudging one's score or giving a few free swings to get out of a sand trap, but that might not be necessary. Any game designed after and promoted by the incoming POTUS is sure to be programmed to show nothing but his very best technique. It would be fun, though, to also have the option of playing as his granddaughter Kai Trump, who's surprisingly good at golf herself. Can somebody get on that for version 2.0?