Tragic Details About Eva Mendes

Trigger warning: The following article mentions substance abuse and racism. 

Anyone who's been keeping up with actress Eva Mendes knows she's undergone a stunning transformation over the years, and while she might be living a lavish life with husband Ryan Gosling, she's weathered many trials and tribulations since she first got her start in Hollywood. Mendes has been pretty open about many of her struggles, including her history of substance abuse. In 2008, Mendes spoke to Interview Magazine after she finished rehab at the Cirque Lodge in Utah. She revealed that some of her friends had died due to substance abuse, making it clear that it was something she took very seriously, and that's why she got the help she needed.

When Mendes checked herself into rehab, it came as a shock to many — it appeared very few knew she had a problem. "She kept it all behind closed doors and wasn't really a mess in public," someone in Mendes' circle told Us Weekly. According to sources, the actress was using cocaine, among other things, and they claimed she fell off the deep end because of the unrealistic standards Hollywood set for women in the industry. "She has a lot of low self-esteem and body issues," a friend told the outlet. Mendes eventually realized she had a problem before her substance abuse became a public scandal and realized she had to do something about it before it was too late. Here are some other hardships she has faced.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Eva Mendes has had to deal with casting directors rejecting her for roles because of her ethnicity. While speaking to Interview Magazine in 2008, Mendes revealed that she'd gotten turned down for many an acting job because of her Cuban heritage. "I don't want to be one of those people who complain. But the lack of roles out there — it's unbelievable," she said. "What makes it frustrating is when a director or a studio head doesn't see me for the same part that they'll see, let's say, Drew Barrymore for."

In a 2024 interview with The Sunday Times, Mendes said that, while at the beginning of her career, she was told she was "too ethnic for this, too ethnic for that," things did eventually improve. "At some point, it switched to 'oh, ethnic is cool now' or 'being Latina is cool,'" she said. "It gave me energy because it would make me so mad and then I'd get that fuel that I needed." 

While Eva Mendes was pregnant with her second daughter, her family faced a heartbreaking tragedy: Mendes' brother, Carlos Mendez, died of cancer. He was only 53. Mendes' family understandably went through a very tough time, but she told Latina Magazine (via Today), that this hard season served to bring her family even closer. "To just see everybody be there for one another and show up, I feel so lucky to have them," she said. "It was really, really intense and obviously beyond heartbreaking, but also kind of beautiful."

A little more than a week after her brother's death, Mendes gave birth to her second daughter, and she explained how she and her husband, Ryan Gosling, ended up giving her the name Amada, which means "beloved." She explained, "We went with Amada because it was something we kept going back to. And it was an emotional time with the passing of my brother," adding that Mendez's funeral happened to fall in the same week Amada was born.

After losing her brother to cancer, receiving her mother, Eva Perez Suarez's cancer diagnosis was a devastating blow for Mendes. Speaking to Today in 2024, she shared how much she admired her mom (who was then in remission) for her fighting spirit and positive attitude. "She's still funny as all hell," Mendes quipped. She also opened up about all the surgeries her mother had to undergo to keep the cancer at bay and that she was often the one taking her for her checkups.

Eva Mendes wants to be the best possible mother to her two girls, and this is one of the reasons she prefers not to post pictures of them on social media. The actress has, however, been pretty open about struggling with mom guilt, especially when it comes to her parenting style. While sitting down with Dr. Shefali for her "Parenting & You" podcast, Mendes discussed how she's often very critical of how she disciplines her daughters. She admitted that, sometimes, when things got too much, she yells at her kids. "It's not a mean yell, but it doesn't matter. I yell," Mendes told Shefali. She added that she found it especially hard not to yell when she and her kids are in a hurry and things are not going as planned. Mendes grew up in a home where yelling at kids was a normal part of everyday life, but she doesn't want this to continue with her own children.

Aside from trying a more gentler approach to parenting, Mendes also tries to listen to what her kids say, especially when they have a strong opinion about something. She once shared a post from LatinxParenting on Instagram that encouraged parents to allow their kids to tell them when they think they're doing something wrong. Upon sharing the post, Mendes admitted that her recent social media absence had been due to one of her daughters telling her that she was on her phone too much. "We had good talk, I apologized and I promised her I'd be mindful," Mendes wrote (via Wonderwall). "I realized that just because I'm always home with them doesn't mean I'm always present."

While making an appearance on the "Parenting & You" podcast, Eva Mendes spoke candidly about her own childhood and how the common method her parents used to discipline her and her siblings was fear. She told Dr. Shefali that, even after all the years that have passed, she still vividly remembers the negative feelings that accompanied that style of parenting. "I see what it's done to my siblings and I see what it's done to other people," she shared, admitting that her greatest fear is doing the same to her children.

 "I hope I don't look back in 20 years and go 'oh shoot,' because I really don't want to raise by fear," Mendes confessed. She's even a little paranoid when people tell her that her kids are well-behaved, worrying whether they're being good because she taught them by example or because they're afraid of what she might say or do if they're not.

Despite not agreeing with the way her parents disciplined her and her siblings, Mendes made it clear that it doesn't change how much she loves her mother. "My mother was definitely so loving and so amazing," she clarified. The actress still has a special relationship with her mom and has frequently shared snaps of them on Instagram. One such post she captioned: "Hanging with the coolest of the cools... My hero. Mi Mami Evita."

She might be fiercely protective of her private life, but when it comes to things everyone deals with, like mental health, Eva Mendes is an open book. In September 2024, the A-lister took to Instagram to share about her own mental health journey while promoting her children's book "Desi, Mami, and the Never-Ending Worries." 

"I was a very, very anxious kid," Mendes confessed in the promotional video, explaining that her upbringing didn't exactly foster a calm environment. She clarified in the caption: "I LOVE being Cuban but growing up in a crazy loud house with high emotions everywhere, I can't help but think that my very Cuban household contributed in some way. Any other Cubans out there know what I mean? Or is it just mi familia that yell whether things are good or bad ?!" People in the comments instantly related, with many being grateful for the new book that could help their little ones deal with big and scary emotions.

Because of her own experiences growing up, Mendes has admitted on a few occasions that she can be overprotective of her two daughters. "The stakes are really high, so yeah, I'm a helicopter parent. And then I heard about the Bulldozing [parents], and I'm like, 'Oh, I'm probably a bulldozing parent too," Mendes confessed while making an appearance on "The Kelly Clarkson Show."

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health, please contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741, call the National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), or visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.