The Major Benefit Family Therapy Had For The Middletons After James Urged Them To Go
When Catherine, Princess of Wales got engaged to William, Prince of Wales, she made a promise of support with her sister Pippa Middleton and her brother James Middleton. That was one of the anecdotes in James' book "Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life." The memoir also chronicled James' family members joining him at therapy. James sought mental health treatment for his depression and suicidal thoughts.
Speaking to Hello! in September 2024, James spoke about the other members of the Middleton family being there for some of his sessions and said, "It gives somebody the opportunity to ask questions that I don't necessarily know the answer to, or might be too emotional to give the answer to, or not have the confidence to say it. It's like having a translator." James also said how his parents, Carole Middleton and Michael Middleton, struggled with joining in the therapy sessions at first.
"And that's why it was so important to have somebody else in the room to explain: 'No, this isn't you that's done this to your son,'" James said. "'This is a combination of multiple things. It stems back to childhood but there's not a single trigger point.'" He mentioned how over time, everyone in his family (including James himself) became more aware of what he was going through, allowing for real conversations to be had about it. "Now, it's something that can be discussed at the dinner table," James added. "It's helped us as a family — not just me individually, but as a unit — to be more open." After hearing about James' positive experience of having his family join him for therapy, the List spoke with an expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Kim Van Dusen, LMFT, RPT, about the benefits of that kind of familial support.
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What are some upsides for family members joining in therapy?
Dr. Kim Van Dusen, LMFT, RPT, who discusses parenting on "The Parentologist with Dr. Kim" podcast and blog, and she told The List how loved ones joining someone for therapy can be good for them in many ways. Some upsides are improved listening, communication, and conflict-resolution skills. Others are "having the opportunity to share various perspectives from each family member, learning how to establish healthy boundaries, ... discussing and [resolving] otherwise unresolved family conflicts and trauma, and helping to keep everyone connected through conflict." A support system joining someone in their therapy is a great way to combat their feelings of loneliness as well.
Discussing the role of parents in therapy, Van Dusen also said, "In a therapy session, parents can learn how to engage and actively listen to their child that is struggling and share various points of view and understand where their child is coming from because there is an unbiased, less emotionally connected third person involved." Similar to what James Middleton said happened when he opened his therapy appointments to his family, Van Dusen said it's a learning experience for parents to understand their children in a new way.
Various support skills are honed when parents attend therapy. Van Dusen continued, "Improved problem-solving skills, communication skills, and learning new coping skills can all help families in therapy together." In addition, she said that it allows parents to observe how one family member's actions may affect another. Van Dusen added it's a way for families to learn how to have productive discussions — which can maybe help even when their therapist isn't around.