Kerry Washington's Most Candid Comments About Struggling With Body Image

This article includes mentions of disordered eating.

Behind all the strong, formidable characters that Kerry Washington has portrayed on TV is a woman who knows what it's like to go through literal hell. You might not know this about Washington, but she's a notoriously private person who prefers to keep her personal life just that — personal. But, in 2023, the beloved actor went against her own rules and published a memoir, "Thicker Than Water," in which Washington discussed the tragic details of her life that shaped who the "Scandal" star is today.

While speaking to fellow actor Gabrielle Union during her book tour, Washington opened up about something everybody can surely relate to: Body image. She didn't mince her words either, with the TV star explaining how she grew up believing that being thin was the ultimate key to success. "I think this idea of needing to fix myself, needing to be better, needing to be more perfect, those seeds were planted very early," Washington admitted (via People). And sadly, her school years on the Upper East Side of New York City did little to convince her otherwise. 

In fact, the people and behaviors to which the actor was exposed during her time there played a huge role in Washington subsequently developing an eating disorder. Appearing on "Good Morning America," in 2023, she explained how her initial criticism of her body inevitably turned into complete self-loathing. "The body dysmorphia, the body hatred, it was beyond my control. It really led me to feeling like, 'I need help from somebody, and something, bigger than me or I'm in trouble because I don't know how to live with this," the "Save the Last Dance" star shared (via X, formerly known as Twitter). 

Aside from dealing with low self-esteem throughout her younger years, Kerry Washington also detailed her struggles with an eating disorder in "Thicker Than Water." The actor ultimately reached a breaking point while attending college, yet she managed to put up the perfect front — no one even considered that she might be suffering in silence. "My relationship with food and my body had become a toxic cycle of self-abuse that utilized the tools of starvation, binge eating, body obsession, and compulsive exercise," Washington wrote. "I would, when seeking to stuff my feelings, stuff my face, secretly binge eating for days at a time, often to the point of physical pain, sometimes to the point of passing out."

After binging, the "Scandal" star described how she would exercise herself half to death and refrain from eating anything for days on end to make up for it. This vicious cycle became so destructive that it led to other mental health issues, and while speaking to "GMA", the actor even confessed that she eventually had suicidal thoughts. As Washington recalled, "I could feel how the abuse was a way to really hurt myself, as if I didn't want to be here. It scared me that I could want to not be here because I was in so much pain."

Even nowadays, the Emmy winner still sometimes catches herself reaching for food when she's at her lowest, but fortunately Washington has gradually learned to recognize these responses and to do something about them before they get out of control. "It definitely looks a lot healthier. It's a lot easier. It's a lot saner than it used to be," she said.

If you need help with an eating disorder, or know someone who does, help is available. Visit the National Eating Disorders Association website or contact NEDA's Live Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. You can also receive 24/7 Crisis Support via text (send NEDA to 741-741).