Tragic Details About The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives Stars

The following article mentions domestic violence.

When "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" premiered on Hulu in September 2024, it all but dominated the reality TV zeitgeist. The reality series about eight members of "MomTok," the Utah-based group of young women who became popular on TikTok because of their dancing videos, offers a fascinating peek into the lives of the influencers, all of whom have ties to the Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter-day Saints. Unlike trad wife queen Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm, these Mormon influencers don't shy away from getting messy in front of the camera. 

Their manager, Danielle Pistotnik, recognized that there was major reality TV potential before Hulu scooped up the series. "It was so clear that there should be something long form and people should get to see this, especially because they're Mormons, and I think there's such a misconception of what those people are," Pistotnik told Deadline. "In reality, these girls are just funny and cool and pretty and you want to hang out with them."

After the group imploded because of a "soft swinging" scandal, cameras went up and they were off to the races. With only eight episodes of the series so far, viewers have only gotten the chance to know a bit about each of these women, but there's plenty more to learn. Here are some tragic details about the stars of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives."

At the end of the "The Secret lives of Mormon Wives" series premiere, Taylor Frankie Paul, perhaps the most controversial influencer in the group, got arrested. In early 2023, cops were called to her home after a domestic dispute between her and her partner, Dakota Mortensen. Filming paused after the arrest and didn't resume for months. When Paul was finally back in front of a camera, she didn't detail much of her arrest or the aftermath. However, according to reports, the incident was quite intense. Per court documents, "Dakota reported feeling scared for his life. Dakota was observed with redness and swelling around his eyes, swelling on his elbow, scratches on his fingers, and a laceration on his neck," as reported by the New York Post. "Paul admitted to throwing the metal chairs and wooden playset," the document read. The influencer was charged with domestic violence in the presence of a child, aggravated assault, child abuse, and criminal mischief.

By September 2023, Paul had reached a plea deal, and it seemed that she was putting the arrest behind her. "Court is officially over til next year. They'll just check in and see how I'm doing — if I'm still doing better. As much as I wish that night had went differently, I felt like hitting rock bottom actually helped me in some ways. Made me seek help that I wasn't getting," the influencer said in a TikTok video, as reported by the New York Post.

Out of everyone on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," few have gotten heat like Whitney Leavitt. The reality star has been dragged online for her relationship with her husband, her behavior toward her castmates, and for uploading a video of herself dancing next to her infant son while he was hospitalized with RSV. While the video was an odd way to share that information, the backlash took a dark turn. "It was really bad, people were telling me to end my life, they wished my family would die," Leavitt shared with BuzzFeed News of the situation. Leavitt took down the video a day after posting it.

As noted, Leavitt's child was hospitalized with RSV, a potentially fatal illness for infants that causes cold-like symptoms and breathing issues. RSV, which has gone through an unprecedented rise in recent years, is the leading cause of hospitalization for infants in the United States. Leavitt and her husband were understandably rattled when they learned of their son's diagnosis. "Send some prayers for lil lee right now. He got admitted this morning cause of low oxygen and tested positive for RSV," Leavitt shared on Instagram in December 2021. "It's honestly so overwhelming. It's hard to not feel helpless in times like this." Leavitt's son's condition improved after a few days in the hospital, and after some time at home, he was able to breathe on his own. "He's awesome. He's healthy. He's sleeping horribly. But other than that, he's doing great," Leavitt said.

The stars of "The Secret lives of Mormon Wives" certainly opened up in front of the cameras, but there was only so much that could make it into the final cut. The first season of the show but scratched the surface of what Mikayla Matthews is going through. 

The MomTok star suffers from a unidentified chronic illness, but the first season didn't really dig into her experience or her struggles. After the show premiered, she opened up on social media and in interviews about the years she's spent trying to figure out exactly what's wrong. "After I had my third child, I started getting really bad allergies. Then I started getting molluscum on my neck, and then little rashes all over. After that, I got my breast implants in, and the rashes got even worse," the influencer told Newsweek.

Matthews' health struggles made filming the reality series difficult, too. "Showing up for filming the whole first season was not only physically exhausting but extremely mentally challenging and watching the show it's very obvious I was fighting for my life, not only cause I'm surrounding by crazy women lol but because I was really really struggling," the reality star wrote on Instagram. Matthews has since had her breast implants removed and has seemingly made progress toward recovery, but she still has a long healing journey ahead.

On Season 1 of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," Jen Affleck acknowledged that she and her husband, Zac Affleck, were going through a rough patch. This rough patch reached fever pitch when the cast went to a Chippendales show in Las Vegas. Zac reprimanded Jen for attending the show, going so far as to question her morals and even threaten her with divorce. 

Since filming those episodes, Jen has not only had time to reflect on the Chippendales disaster, but she's been very open about the status of her marriage. "I think what was wrong about the situation was that he just didn't trust me, and he didn't trust that I could navigate the situation," Jen said to Today, adding that much of the disconnect between the two stemmed from their religious beliefs and expectations. "If we were at a bachelorette party and we're just celebrating, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But because we're representing our church, and (I think) he knew that millions of people were going to see that, (he was) scared that they would put me in a tough situation with filming, and that they would portray me in a different light that I'm not."

Jen has continued to open up about her relationship on Instagram and in other interviews. As she told Decider, she and Zac have made an effort to work on their marriage, noting that they began therapy immediately after filming wrapped. 

Mayci Neeley has been through a lot. When she was just 19, she became pregnant, and she moved back in with her parents. Her relationship with the father of her child, then-boyfriend Arik Mack, took a tragic turn. 

One day, Neeley and Mack were arguing via text while Mack was driving. Mack then got into an accident and died on impact. "I was utterly destroyed. I had no idea that he was driving — I never would have replied to him if I knew. Arik was my best friend and suddenly, he was gone. I couldn't get my head around the fact that I'd never hear his cheeky laugh again. My baby would never be held by their father. It was too much to bear," Neeley shared in an essay she wrote for the Mirror.

Mack's death sent Neeley into a serious depression. "I couldn't even shower alone. I needed space to grieve," she said, noting that it wasn't until her son was born that she began to feel like herself again. The reality star hopes that "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" returns for another season so she can share more of her story with viewers. "I have grown so much empathy. I think I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and you can see that in the show. When people see my backstory, they realize why I do some of the things I do on the show," she told Us Weekly.

Layla Wessel was pretty open about her first marriage on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." The reality star not only reflected on getting divorced at a relatively young age, but also was pretty open about feeling underwhelmed by their sex life when they were married. However, as Layla told Us Weekly, there's a lot more to the story of her divorce. 

Layla and her ex-husband, Clayton Wessel, started dating when they were teenagers. After Layla found out she was pregnant with the couple's first child, the two got married. "I felt like we owed it to our unborn baby to give our family a chance [but] just don't think we ever had a stable relationship built at all. And then adding kids on top of that, it just kind of kept getting more and more toxic and we fought more than we ever were happy with each other. It was just really bad," Layla said of their relationship.

Layla noted that Clayton threatened to divorce her multiple times before finally leaving, and she did not try to save the marriage. Evidently, they haven't exactly forged a friendship in the wake of their divorce. "Hopefully we can get to a more peaceful place. I think with him, there comes jealousy, and he found out about my boyfriend. So hopefully one day I'm praying that we can get to a point that we're a lot more cordial," Layla said.

"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" star Jessi Ngatikaura has also been through a tough divorce. Jessi first got married when she was 22 to someone she first met in middle school. The two began dating after he returned from his mission, and they not only got married but moved away from Jessi's family. After they tied the knot, she started a hair styling business, whereas he started smoking weed. All of those life changes caused a rift in their relationship, and the two grew apart.

What Jessi struggled most with in her divorce was having to separate from her ex-husband's family. "It was hard because I loved his family. I loved him. I felt like they were my family, and that was my biggest internal struggle, being like, 'These people that I feel like are my parents and my grandparents and my extended family are just gonna be gone if I leave,'" Jessi said on an episode of the "Weekly Trash" podcast. 

Jessi went on to marry her current husband, Jordan Ngatikaura. While there have been rumors about Jessi supposedly cheating on her first husband, she has denied those claims.

Demi Engemann is another cast member from "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" who went through divorce at a young age. The reality star had a child with her first husband, but in her second marriage, she's struggled with infertility. In 2023, Engemann shared an update on her efforts to become pregnant on Instagram, noting that she and her husband had been trying for a baby for about a year and a half at that point. "After dealing with infertility and quite a few alarming symptoms, I loosely got diagnosed with endometriosis," Engemann said, adding that she still had to have some tests done to confirm the diagnosis. "My biggest fear in all of this is that it takes an additional year or two, and then by the time I actually get pregnant, [my daughter] and the baby will be almost eight years apart," she shared.

The influencer went on to reflect on her first postpartum journey, noting that it wasn't easy. "I think I just fear going through all of that again," she said. She also shared that while she has some mixed feelings about the idea of having two kids who are so far apart in age, she is hopeful that she and her husband are at the right stage to welcome another child to their family. Engemann has yet to conceive, and in 2024, she posted on TikTok that she was still experiencing infertility.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.