Blake Horstmann Reveals His Life After Bachelor In Paradise

Blake Horstmann had an emotional time on Season 6 of Bachelor in Paradise, and it's taken quite a toll on the reality star. On Sept. 9, 2019, after the episode in which he was booted off the show aired, he took to Instagram to tell fans how he was feeling.

"To say paradise was rough for me is an understatement," wrote Horstmann on a picture of himself staring into the sunset. "I have no one to blame but myself for that. It's not easy putting yourself and all of your mistakes out there for the world to see. No matter the differences all of us had on that beach, I will always have respect for each and every one of you, being brave enough to be yourselves and chase the love we all feel we deserve. Never forget that we are all human and not characters on television."

Horstmann also expressed love for the fans who helped him through the season. "I want to thank those of you that have sent me kind words and encouraging messages," he said. "Those have helped more than you will ever know. I hope that this is not the end of my story and I can look back at this summer and be grateful for the lessons learned and the friends made."

Many fans thought that Kristina Schulman and Blake Horstmann, who had dated off and on before Bachelor in Paradise, would get together again, but Schulman ultimately rejected him. Horstmann told Schulman he was ready to commit, but Schulman had too many doubts about him. "I tried," she told People on Sept. 17, 2019. "But mentally, I wasn't there anymore."

To be fair, Schulman was pretty low on Horstmann's list of potential girlfriends. Before trying to rekindle their relationship, he went out with fellow contestant Tayshia Adams and also tried to woo Hannah Godwin. There was also the matter of that Stagecoach incident in April when he hooked up with Schulmann and Caelynn Miller-Keyes on consecutive nights, something Horstmann got a lot of backlash for when it was revealed on the show.

"At some point I was like, 'Maybe if I'm still thinking about him, considering he has feelings for me, I should give it a shot,'" said Schulman. "But it's like, hey, a guy doesn't want you, chooses every girl before you, and then comes back to you and you run back and take him? I didn't want to be that girl again."

Kristina Schulman said that, while she rejected Blake Horstmann romantically, she still supported him on Bachelor in Paradise because she recognized that he was having a hard time. "I know Blake's heart and I know that deep down he's a good person," she told People. 

Schulman added that the extent of the backlash directed towards her ex was "uncalled for" and that she even checked in on him after the show wrapped to make sure he was doing okay. "We got back and I said, 'I'd like to talk if you want to talk,'" she said. "He had just had his heart shattered and he said, 'I need some time.' Ultimately we came back together as friends."

On Sept. 18, 2019, the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast released an episode with Blake Horstmann, in which he spoke out about what his life has been post-Bachelor in Paradise. He hinted that he has been experiencing depression but isn't "quite ready to talk about just how low and dark it got."

What was really hard for him was how his reputation has changed. "Coming off of Becca [Kufrin]'s [Bachelorette] season, I didn't get too much hate," he said. "Then, to suddenly get as much as I did right away, it was really hard."

Horstmann added that he has had trouble leaving his apartment because he didn't want to face the people he had disappointed.

While he's in a slump right now, Blake Horstmann is working on getting past it and is reflecting on how things spiraled so out of control. He admitted that, in the interim between his time on The Bachelorette and his appearance on Bachelor in Paradise, he let fame get to his head. "I had just come off of this heartbreak ... and I was distracting myself and I was kind of trying to fill that emptiness and that void with this attention," he told the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast. "I lost myself a little bit."

Horstmann said that all the attention he was getting caused him to "feel invulnerable" but that he knows "I'm not."

While things are still rough, Horstmann is working on moving on. He said, "Once I was able to forgive myself, in a sense, I was able to get better."