Why Meghan Markle Reportedly Feels No Guilt Over Her Estrangement From Kate Middleton

Speculation about the nature of the reportedly tumultuous relationship between Catherine, Princess of Wales and Meghan Markle has been a hot topic amongst royal watchers. For instance, some believe Meghan is relying on Kate's sister Pippa Middleton to make peace with Kate herself. Others believe Meghan isn't in a rush to smooth things over with her sister-in-law. "[Meghan] doesn't feel guilty about Kate, because she feels that Kate should've been the one person in the Royal Family to back her against every difficulty," author Tom Quinn told the Mirror in April 2024. He went on to explain how since Meghan and Kate both married into the royal family, Meghan felt they should've been on the same side. Quinn also claimed Meghan didn't think Kate's cancer diagnosis was enough for them to reconcile and felt that she believed Kate should be the one to apologize.

Dr. Catherine Nobile, Psy.D., a New York-based psychologist and the director of Nobile Psychology, exclusively spoke with The List regarding why Meghan might not feel remorse for her rift with Kate. When asked if the split between the sisters-in-law was impossible to overcome, Nobile said that depended on multiple things. "If Meghan feels let down by Kate for aligning with the royal family instead of supporting them as 'outsiders,' it indicates a deep emotional divide. Family dynamics can be complicated, especially when intertwined with the structure of the British monarchy."

Nobile added how since they chose not to engage in royal life, Meghan and Prince Harry are leading a very different lifestyle from Kate, who is married to the future king William, Prince of Wales.

Regarding Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's new life in America, Dr. Catherine Nobile told The List, "Following their move to California where they claimed to want more privacy, Harry and Meghan filmed a controversial Oprah Winfrey interview where they alleged claims of racism among unnamed members of the royal family, as well as other negative comments about the senior royals." They described their negative experiences with the royals in other ways too, such as in Harry's memoir "Spare." 

These candid remarks could affect making amends for Meghan and Catherine, Princess of Wales. "In the context of the British Royal family, and these events playing out on a world stage among a family that prides itself on discretion and the motto, 'never complain, never explain,' both Kate and Meghan, as well as their respective husbands, may have too much hurt and anger to mend fences," Nobile said. She pointed out how Kate and her father-in-law King Charles III's focus on healing from cancer probably takes precedence over patching things up.

It also may be hard for Meghan and Harry to make up with Kate and the other senior royals because of how far away they live, and Nobile mentioned how Harry keeps Meghan and their family out of the UK for safety reasons. She also said non-famous families don't have the same struggles when it comes to making up. Since their lives aren't so public, it might be easier for them to heal rifts. Furthermore, Nobile felt Meghan and Kate being sisters-in-law and not blood-related may affect a hypothetical reconciliation.

When it comes to Catherine, Princess of Wales and Meghan Markle, Dr. Catherine Nobile also noted they "come from very different backgrounds, both culturally and socially. These differences can be more pronounced when there is no shared family history to bond over, potentially leading to misunderstandings or tension." Therefore, they may not be as dedicated to fixing things since they aren't blood-related. The psychologist also mentioned their link to the royal family. "In such a public and high-pressure role," she continued, "their relationship is further complicated by media scrutiny, royal protocol, and expectations placed upon them by the family and public." Meghan and Kate may feel pitted against each other too, possibly causing more drama than if they were related by blood.

However, in-laws can become close family. Nobile affirmed it's typical for in-laws to have trouble, saying, "In-law conflicts often stem from issues like differing approaches to parenting, lifestyle choices, or feelings of competition for attention and loyalty. The lack of a long-established bond can make misunderstandings harder to resolve than conflicts within immediate family members."

In combatting such tensions, Nobile suggested good communication and strong boundaries. It's also important for couples to be "a united front" when dealing with issues with family members. "Patience, empathy, and the willingness to compromise go a long way in mending or preventing rifts between in-laws," Nobile said, also advocating for family counseling. The British royals may want to consider it.