Strange Things About Barack And Michelle Obama's Marriage That Everyone Ignores

Barack and Michelle Obama are arguably one of the most-loved couples out there. They've undergone a stunning relationship transformation, and even though they left the White House years ago (those were the days), their marriage continues to serve as an inspiration to many, especially because both of them have been pretty open about how it's not sunshine and roses all the time. In fact, the two's marriage got off to a bit of a rocky start, so to speak.

When Barack decided to propose to Michelle, he went about it in a rather unconventional way. Both lawyers, they could argue a point until the cows came home. So, on the evening Barack popped the big question, he decided to get into an argument with Michelle (who he knew always had an answer for everything) and leave her speechless for a change. Barack started a conversation about the merits of marriage. "He made an argument out of it (the proposal)," Michelle recalled on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert." "We would have these deep discussions about whether marriage was really necessary if two people loved each other, and he would make his lawyer-ly arguments and I would be irritated." In the middle of the heated discussion, the waiter placed a platter with a ring on it in front of Michelle. "He opened up the box and he said, 'Now that ought to shut you up.' And it did," Michelle told Colbert.

Michelle and Barack Obama's relationship hasn't always been what it seems. In fact, Michelle once admitted in an interview that there was a time she couldn't stand Barack. "People think I'm being catty by saying this — it's like, there were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband," Michelle told REVOLT. "And guess when it happened? When those kids were little." She explained that very few people actually talk about how hard marriage really is, adding that young people often give up real quick on their marriage because they're under the impression that it's supposed to be easy. She emphasized that being madly in love with your partner doesn't mean rough days won't come — and when they do, you need to work through it and not give up. "Bringing two lives together is one of the hardest things to do, but [you have to understand that] it's a process." she said.

Elaborating on the decade during which she and Barack didn't see eye to eye, Michelle said it had a lot to do with her feeling like they weren't splitting their responsibilities fifty-fifty. "And guess what? Marriage isn't fifty-fifty — ever," she said. Responding to his wife's comments, Barack said he often failed to realize just how much stress Michelle had been under while they were raising their kids. "It sure helps to be out of the White House and to have a little more time with her," he told CBS.

Michelle Obama doesn't want people idolizing her relationship with Barack because it is nowhere near as perfect as the pictures on the internet would have you believe. Michelle and Barack have arguments just like any other couple; the only difference is that they're both lawyers, which means they can each argue their point like they're in court, and sometimes, they both get a little carried away. "Sometimes, we can feel ourselves, just, lawyering ourselves to death," Michelle said on an episode of "Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast." "We both like to win. I know that we've had to learn how to argue differently. Because I hit fast and hard, and then I forget, it's like, 'oh, did that cut you deeply?'" she admitted. She explained that, when it comes to arguments, Barack is much more sensitive to what's being said than she is, and her hurtful words would often stay with him, whereas she would forget arguments completely. This has made the couple rethink how they approach disagreements, and for Michelle, it meant thinking before she speaks.

On her podcast, the former First Lady said that her and Barack's argumentative styles differ vastly when they get into a fight. "Barack wants to talk rationally, and I'm like 'rational'?" she said. "Don't come to me with sense — I'm angry! Don't come to me with your three bullet points — you better get out of here and let me cool down!"

When Michelle Obama first met Barack Obama, she immediately knew he was a force to be reckoned with and that she had to be able to hold her own, lest she gets completely swept up in his dreams and aspirations. "I knew he was a tsunami coming after me, and if I didn't get my act together, I would be swept up," Michelle said in her Netflix documentary "Becoming." "I didn't want to just be an appendage to his dreams. So that forced me to work and think, and make decisions like leaving law," she added.

But once she became a mother, things changed drastically for Michelle, and her children became her first priority. "Something had to give, and it was my aspirations and dreams," Michelle said, making it clear that Barack never asked her to give up any of it, but that she felt she couldn't balance everything at once. "It felt like, 'I can't do all of this. So I have to tone down my aspirations. I have to dial it back," she explained. In her book, "The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times," Michelle also touched on how she constantly dealt with mom guilt while living in the White House. "One tiny thing would go wrong, and my mother-guilt would kick in. I'd start second-guessing every choice Barack and I had ever made," she wrote.

When it comes to her marriage and how she and Barack Obama have managed to stay together for over three decades, Michelle Obama doesn't mince her words when people ask for advice. In her book, "The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times," Michelle makes it clear that the fairytale expectations many people have of what marriage should be is nothing but balderdash. "Somebody was always giving way more," she wrote about her and Barack's marriage, explaining that that's just how it is in relationships. One day when you take a step back, however, you'll see that it all added up for each person. Michelle can speak to this because her marriage has gone through its fair share of rough patches.

There was a time Michelle and Barack were undergoing marriage counseling in an attempt to work on their relationship. Michelle admitted that she initially thought counseling would "fix" her husband. She believed he was the problem but quickly learned that she had some work to do too. "My resentment for him was that Barack was prioritizing himself, in a way. We had babies; he was at the gym. I was like, 'How do you find time to work out?' I was like, 'So let me stop being mad at him for going to the gym and let me get to the gym,' you know?" she explained in her Netflix documentary "Becoming. "My happiness is not dependent on him making me happy," she added.

Barack and Michelle Obama might have plenty in common, but they're also vastly different people, and Michelle has admitted in her book, "The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times," that the two of them aren't always as compatible as they look. "They ask how we have managed to stay both married and unmiserable for thirty years now. I want to say, 'Yes, truly, it's a surprise to us, too, sometimes!' And really, I'm not joking," she wrote. "We have our issues, of course, but I love the man, and he loves me, now, still, and seemingly forever."

It appears that Michelle and Barack are the very definition of opposites attract. In her book, Michelle details how she's very much an extrovert who loves getting up early and mingling with people. Barack, on the other hand, is the exact opposite — a night owl who prefers his own company over spending time with a big group of people. They also have different ways of expressing their love. Speaking to Oprah Winfrey for the "Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast," Michelle said that she grew up in a family where everyone lived close to each other whereas Barack had to learn how to navigate long-distance family relationships from a young age. This means that he values telling someone he loves them whereas, for Michelle, love is all about your actions, not just your words.