Tragic Details About Monica Lewinsky's Life After The Bill Clinton Scandal

Note: This article includes mentions of suicide.

In 1998, it was impossible to turn on a television or pass a newsstand without encountering the name "Monica Lewinsky." As her affair with former president Bill Clinton became public knowledge and torpedoed her budding career in the nation's capital, it's likely she never expected the long-standing infamy she would endure in its aftermath, either. After all, the then 20-something White House intern said: "I never expected to fall in love with the president," according to the Washington Post.

The affair was front-page news, but Lewinsky's personal struggles went virtually unnoticed. The intense media scrutiny took its toll and Lewinsky found herself publicly vilified, socially isolated, and battling mental health issues. The world eventually moved on to fresher news, but the Clinton scandal continued to negatively impact her life for years. 

However, the intern-turned-activist has bravely shared the tragic details of her story. For instance, in 2024 Lewinsky wrote an essay for Vanity Fair reflecting on how the fallout of the White House scandal has affected her life. In the essay, she referred to the period between 2004 and 2014 as her "dark decade" and candidly described how she felt during that time: "For the most part, I was in a sea of pain, coming to grips with what it meant to have been standing at the center of a political sex scandal in which I was opposing the most powerful man in the world." Here, we uncover the impact of the scandal on the woman at the center of it all.

The wide availability of digital news is something we take for granted, but the internet as we know it was in its infancy when the Clinton scandal made headlines in 1998. Unfortunately for young Monica Lewinsky, she found herself facing something few other people had faced before — going viral for the wrong reasons. In her TED Talk "The Price of Shame," Lewinsky explained: "I went from being a private figure to being a publicly humiliated one worldwide. I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously." 

Perhaps the most incredible thing about the negative press Lewinsky endured was how quickly it spread, even without social media. Social media could have made things must worse, as Lewinsky admitted to InStyle in 2023. "People often ask me whether I think it would have been different in '98 had social media been around, and of course, we can all imagine the negatives — the Twitter handles and hashtags," she said. However, having an online community of supporters could have also provided more consistent comfort. "I could only get support from strangers in the most old-fashioned, analogue way: if they sent a letter," she said.

Although social media wasn't around to help her then, Lewinsky uses it to connect with supporters now. For example, she hopped on a Taylor Swift meme bandwagon on X, formerly Twitter:

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me. pic.twitter.com/hkhdRlBCkj

— Monica Lewinsky (she/her) (@MonicaLewinsky) April 25, 2024

This lighthearted jab is an excellent example of how Lewinsky has worked to reframe her story for a new digital audience. 

Although sex positivity is slowly becoming more widespread, women like Monica Lewinsky have historically been subjected to slut-shaming. Like so many others, she was (and continues to be) reduced to a single intimate act that was never meant to be public knowledge. As Jessica Bennett of Time Magazine explains, "Nearly two decades later, Lewinsky is still a punch line and a sly euphemism for oral sex." People went out of their way to demean and belittle Lewinsky for her relationship with Bill Clinton, both in print media and on television.

Among the worst offenders is comedian and TV host Jay Leno. According to a study shared by Today, Leno made 454 references to Lewinsky on the "Tonight Show," many of which were alarmingly negative. However, at least one of Lewinsky's public detractors appears to feel remorseful about his comments. In 2014, late-night television host David Letterman told Barbara Walters, "I feel bad about my role in helping push the humiliation to the point of suffocation." 

The #MeToo movement and changes in public opinion helped slow the tide of overt public humiliation for Lewinsky, but hurtful euphemisms still persist. For example, Lewinsky took a stand against a more recent instance of slut-shaming in 2022, tweeting an unofficial request that Beyonce change a lyric from her song, "Partition." As CNN reported, Lewinsky's tweet was about a lyric in which Beyonce offensively uses Lewinsky's name as a verb, saying that a man "Monica Lewinsky'd all on my gown."

Few people seemed to be on Monica Lewinsky's side during the Clinton scandal, but her parents Marcia Lewinsky and Bernard Lewinsky were consistently supportive. In particular, mother and daughter reportedly had a very tight bond. "Monica worships her mother. The two are incredibly close. And alike," a friend of the Lewinsky family told the Washington Post. "Marcia is Monica squared." In an Armchair Expert podcast episode, Lewinsky explained just how crucial her family's support was. "I couldn't talk to most of my friends until after they had testified. I don't think I would have survived without my family," she said.

However, one member of the Lewinsky family was kept far away from the tumultuous public affair: Michael Lewinsky, Monica's younger brother. Michael is Monica's only sibling and was born four years after her. Many older siblings feel protective of their younger siblings, and Monica was no exception; she abided by a necessary but difficult decision for Michael's sake during the investigation. "I wasn't allowed to talk to my brother ... for a long time ... to protect him legally," she said on the podcast. "And he was a sophomore in college." 

According to Daily Mail, the radio silence between Monica and Michael lasted for about a year, starting in January 1998. Although the two have since reunited, there's no way to ever get that lost time back. We can only imagine how heartbreaking this was for Monica to face. 

Unfortunately, the stigma of the affair persisted well into the 21st century, even as Monica Lewinsky began lending her time to noble causes in the mid-2010s. For example, she shared an anecdote from 2015 in her Vanity Fair essay. "Soon I began working with anti-bullying organizations globally. And yet, when one of the groups was being honored at an event, I was asked not to walk the red carpet," she wrote. Worse still, the former White House intern found herself once again being pushed aside in favor of Bill Clinton in 2018. Lewinsky explains in the essay that she was "disinvited to a philanthropy summit because former president Bill Clinton was a last-minute addition to the roster." Lewinsky tweeted her displeasure with this slight: "Emily Post would [definitely] not approve."

Although CNN reported that the host of the event later apologized, this is just one of many instances in which she was cast aside or disrespected. That same year, Time shared a video of Lewinsky at a speaking engagement in Jerusalem. The interviewer asked if she was awaiting an apology from Bill Clinton, leading the activist to respond with "I'm so sorry, I'm not going to be able to do this" before dropping her microphone and abruptly leaving the stage. She later tweeted a powerful explanation: 

so here's 👇🏻 what happened... pic.twitter.com/Y7gLs3SDLF

— Monica Lewinsky (she/her) (@MonicaLewinsky) September 3, 2018

It can't have been easy to walk away from such a televised interview, but standing up for what you believe in (and yourself) is always the right choice.

In 1999, Monica Lewinsky told Channel 4 News presenter Jon Snow exactly how she felt about her crush on Bill Clinton. "I regret the entire relationship and ever having met him," she said. This response is no surprise given the painful mental health struggles she experienced when the Clinton scandal unfolded. From the very first day that Lewinsky faced FBI questioning, the gravity of the situation weighed heavily on her, even prompting her to consider suicide. When asked about the night she spent in a hotel room that night, Lewinsky said: "I remember looking out the window and thinking, 'Well I can't begin to fathom what's going to unfold here and I can't begin to think of how this is going to hurt the president and hurt my family,' and I thought well, maybe if I'm not here, it won't happen.' So I seriously considered jumping."

Thankfully, Lewinsky had some positive influences in her life. In 2021, she told CNN that a new romantic relationship helped her cope with her suicidal feelings as the investigation got underway. "I think a lot of people who have ever had suicidal ideations find themselves in a moment where it's just — it's a moment of grace, like, you know, two roads diverged in the woods ...," Lewinsky said. Considering how far she has come since 1998, it's clear Lewinsky took the road less traveled. 

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