Inside Jon Bon Jovi's Relationship With His Wife Dorothea

Some rock 'n' roll marriages give love a bad name, but not Jon Bon Jovi's. This New Jersey rocker has been married to his high school sweetheart Dorothea Bongiovi for over three decades and they're still going strong. In a world where celebrity divorces, scandals, and shenanigans dominate the headlines, the seemingly down-to-earth couple is a breath of fresh air. "Somehow I became the poster boy for a long married rock star. But I'll accept the mantle because I'm so happy," the singer told People. 

That's not to say their marriage is a perfect one. Bon Jovi was one of the biggest rockstars (with some of the biggest hair) of the 1980s, after all. Like all couples, they've had to work at it, but they've stood the test of time amid all the perils and pitfalls that can cause even the mightiest celebrity couples to burn out in a blaze of glory. So, what's their recipe for success? ″Mutual respect,″ Bon Jovi told People. ″Having grown up together and grown together. And we really like each other. We want to hang out.″ He added that his role of "rockstar" is just a job, and claimed it's not who he is at his core. "I write songs. I happen to be very good at performing them. That's it," he said. Bongiovi echoed her husband's sentiment to People: "Somehow it works. ... We grew equally and not in opposite directions."

They say you never forget your first love, and for Jon Bon Jovi, not only did he not forget her, he married her. Bon Jovi was shot through the heart when he saw his future wife Dorothea Bongiovi, then Dorothea Hurley, at Sayreville War Memorial High School where they were both students in 1980. In an interview with People, the rocker revealed, "I was immediately drawn to her from the minute I saw her, and that never changed." 

Bon Jovi revealed on the "The Kelly Clarkson Show" that the two sat next to each other in history class and, while it may have been love at first sight, there was one problem: Bongiovi was dating his best friend, Bobby. The situation inspired the artist to pen the song "Bobby's Girl," one of the first original tunes he wrote.

When Bobby joined the navy, Bon Jovi and Bongiovi became an item, with Bongiovi accompanying her big-haired boyfriend to his increasing number of gigs as the singer in a band called The Rest. As Bon Jovi detailed on "The Howard Stern Show," Bongiovi even skipped her senior prom to watch them perform live as the opening act for Southside Johnny.

In 1989, Jon Bon Jovi had it all. Already riding high on the success of "Slippery When Wet" the band's follow up album, "New Jersey" became the No. 1 album in the country, and spawned two No. 1 singles. Fans couldn't get enough of the band and its lead singer, and just when it seemed like nothing could derail the Bon Jovi Express, the world's favorite frontman got married. 

While on a break in L.A. during the "New Jersey" tour, the singer spontaneously convinced his high school sweetheart Dorothea Bongiovi to walk down the aisle at Graceland Wedding Chapel in Vegas, breaking hearts all over the world in the process. "It was like Harry Styles or Justin Timberlake getting married. I was that to the young girls in my time," Bon Jovi described to Mirror. But the fans weren't the only ones who weren't happy. "When I came back from Vegas my manager was furious. He was like, '­America's boy is now married ... that's not a good career move.' The record company was also despondent," he said. "It didn't fare well with my mother, either." 

Though it may have seemed like rash decision, they didn't take their marriage lightly. And today they are still as happy as those kids who ran off to elope in Vegas. In the Hulu docuseries, "Thank You, Goodnight: The Bon Jovi Story," the singer said, "We got it right the first time."

Marriage takes a lot of work for the average couple, but for the celebrity couple, it takes even more. At the height of his fame, Jon Bon Jovi was one of the hottest rock stars on the planet. Months spent away from home touring, coupled with fans throwing themselves at him night after night, meant that the struggle to stay on the straight and narrow was real, and Bon Jovi has admitted that he was not "a saint."

"These are all the wonderful clichés of rock stardom," he told The Independent. "It's about never lying about having been a saint, but not being a fool enough to f*** up the home life, either." In an ABC interview with Michael Strahan, he confessed, "I got away with murder." 

Such open admissions led to plenty of speculation on the state of the couple's union, which the singer attempted to clarify in an interview with Men's Health. He explained that his wife knew what she was getting into when she married a rock 'n' roll star. "She's been in it the whole game. She understands what it means. It's my life, and it is what it is." However, he was quick to add, "I don't have a mistress on the side or another family across town. You're never going to read that story about me. I have no regard for that whole lifestyle."

Rumors of infidelity have not been the only challenges that Dorothea Bongiovi has faced in her marriage to Jon Bon Jovi. She has stood by her man through all of life's ups and downs, including a brief bout of depression and burn out in the early days following the intense "Slippery When Wet" tour.

"We did 240 shows, went home and immediately started writing and recording New Jersey. We then went back on the road with another 240 shows. It was just too much," Bon Jovi told Mirror. While he was struggling to keep the band and his career together, Bongiovi was holding down the fort, a fact that isn't lost on the singer. "I'm the crazy visionary with all kinds of things flying, and the seams are all splitting. She's the one following me with the glue and the thread and needle, keeping it all together," he told People. 

One of the most challenging situations came when the singer underwent surgery to repair vocal cord atrophy and was faced with the sobering fear that he may never perform again. However, with Bongiovi by his side cheering him on, Bon Jovi made a full recovery and continues to do what he loves. In his post-surgery single "Legendary" he paid tribute to his "brown-eyed girl, and confessed in an interview with The Independent, "I could not have done any of this without her support." 

Both Jon Bon Jovi and his wife, Dorothea Bongiovi, credit the fact that they have grown up together as part of the reason for their successful, long-term marriage. Knowing and loving each other before fame and fortune changed their lives has gone a long way in keeping the couple grounded and living a relatively private life. This is not the couple you are going to see parading down red carpets or sharing every detail of their children's lives on social media. That's not to say that they don't enjoy their hard-earned success, though.

The couple owns mansions in both New Jersey and Long Island, along with a $26 million Manhattan penthouse. But at the end of the day, it's not the size of the homes or the number of cars or the designer clothes that matters. It's the love and the dedication to family that keeps the Bon Jovi clan going strong. In other words, they have nothing to prove.

In an interview with Marc Malkin on Variety's "Just for Variety" podcast, the "Runaway" singer shared some insight into his day-to-day life with Bongiovi, which is pretty basic by rock star standards. "We don't have to outdo things with presents and this and that, because every day there is just seriously deep gratitude. You know, watching TV together and sitting on the couch and making a cup of tea. She knows how grateful I am for everything."

Part of flying under the radar for Jon Bon Jovi and Dorothea Bongiovi has meant raising their four children, Stephanie, Jesse, Jacob, and Romeo, away from the harsh glare of the limelight. The kids, who all have their father's given last name, Bongiovi, were largely shielded from their father's fame. "We never really drag the kids to things," Dorothea told People. "I never pointed at the TV and said, 'There's Daddy!' We try hard just to give our kids a normal life." That included family dinners, and discipline, an area where Bon Jovi told Men's Health that he typically takes the lead. "It's equal, but I'm the one with the dad voice, and if you've got to use the dad voice, I can bring it out." It also included a strong work ethic. The Bongiovi kids didn't have credit cards growing up, they weren't given cell phones at an early age and, like their famous father, they held down jobs. Per People, the rocker said his hope was that "If they see my work ethic, maybe that will instill that in them."

Whatever they are doing seems to have worked. With the notable exception of Stephanie being hospitalized for opioid use while she was still in college, the now-grown children typically don't make headlines. "Our focus has always been family first and making sure that people are doing well," Bongiovi told People. "We like each other."

Jon Bon Jovi and Dorothea Bongiovi clearly aren't living on a prayer, but they are keenly aware that there are others who aren't so fortunate. Philanthropy has always been a part of the couple's mission, and when they can give back to their home state of New Jersey, even better.

In 2006, they established the Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation, with a mission to "break the cycle of hunger, poverty and homelessness through developing partnerships, creating programs and providing grant funding to support innovative community benefit organizations." As part of that initiative, Bongiovi opened the JBJ Soul Kitchens, two New Jersey community restaurants that serve both paying customers and customers in need. ″It's a partnership. When we see injustice or people suffering, you want to help. We're very blessed, and we have the ability to do that,″ she told People. Bon Jovi added, ″I'm happiest," he says, ″if I like what I do for a living, I'm doing right by my family and I'm making the world just a little bit better."

That drive to give back to the community earned Bon Jovi the 2024 MusiCares Person of the Year award. In a statement per USA Today, he noted, "Philanthropic work has been a cornerstone of my life and has always run in tandem to my music career and achievements." He added, "I know this for sure: helping one's community is helping one's self."