James Hewitt: A Look Back At The Life Of Princess Diana's Former Lover

The following article mentions suicide.

Captain James Hewitt became famous and infamous when news broke of his romance with Diana, Princess of Wales. Before that, however, Hewitt led a fairly discreet life as a military man and riding instructor. But once word got out, he was thrust into the spotlight as the other man in the royal marriage between Diana and King Charles III. 

Royal romances often capture the attention of the hoi polloi. Whether it's watching for mishaps at Princess Catherine and Prince William's wedding or listening to rumors about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's marriage, the public has long been fascinated by the love lives of the aristocrats. And that interest was brought to a boiling point when Hewitt and Diana's affair bubbled up. That scandal only grew as details of their relationship were made public by the press. And then, Hewitt shared his version of events in books and interviews for years on end.

While some people view Hewitt's romance with Diana as a true love story, others have accused him of using the relationship for profit. And there is still a lot of speculation and questions surrounding their romance, which ended in the '90s. We're taking a look back at his life before, during, and after Diana to get a better idea of who he really is. 

James Hewitt and his twin sister, Caroline, were born in 1958 to Shirley Stamp and John Alfred Hewitt. John was a former Olympian and member of the Royal Marines, and he met Stamp while stationed in Northern Ireland. 

John and Shirley bonded over their shared love of horse riding. This was a passion that they handed down to their children. The twins and their older sister, Syra, learned to ride horseback from a young age. "We three children grew up on ponies and the freedom which that gave us was marvelous," James wrote in his book "A Love Like No Other – Diana and Me." James described his home life in the Irish countryside as fairly idyllic. "I was lucky enough to spend my childhood in a happy and close-knit family," he wrote.

James attended Millfield, a public school in Somerset, where he at first struggled due to his dyslexia. But his headmaster encouraged him to pursue sports like fencing, cross-country, polo, and swimming in the hopes it would also help his academics. James enjoyed and excelled at these activities and looks back on his school days and the friends he made with fondness.

James Hewitt, like King Charles III, not only spent time in the military, but hails from a military family. His father, John Hewitt, was a captain in the Royal Marines, and his grandfather was an admiral for the Royal Navy. It was perhaps to be expected that James would follow in their path, but it was not his first choice.

While at school, James hoped to become a surgeon, but unfortunately, his scores did not qualify him to pursue that dream. When that didn't work out, he spent some time helping as an instructor at his parents' horse riding school. Ultimately, however, he craved doing something more adventurous than staying in his hometown, which is what eventually drew him to enlist. "I went to the Army Careers Officer in Exeter and the information I read there and the people I spoke to confirmed my feeling that a Short Service Commission could be stimulating," James wrote in "A Love Like No Other."

That was the start of his impressive military career. He attended the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst and became a cavalry officer in the Brigade of Guards. James found the excitement he was looking for while in the military. He had his first tour in Germany in 1981. "I found the work very fulfilling," James wrote about the posting. "I went in a lieutenant and left as a captain and second-in-command of a tank squadron."

It became a point of debate with some royal fans exactly when Captain James Hewitt and Princess Diana first met. But, according to Hewitt and other sources, they did not cross paths until 1986 when the young captain and the royal attended a party thrown by Diana's lady-in-waiting. Diana was already a royal. She'd married Prince Charles in 1981 and given birth to her sons Prince William and Prince Harry a few years later.

Initially, Hewitt and Diana's relationship seemed innocent enough. They were clearly charmed by each other and began to form a friendship, but that dynamic would later evolve. Long before he was known as Diana's bodyguard who shared his feelings on Prince Harry's life, Ken Wharfe discussed his former charge's relationship with Hewitt in "Diana: Closely Guarded Secret." "Their first conversation felt natural, she said, and it was this that sparked her attraction. As she put it, they got along famously," he wrote. According to Wharfe, Hewitt suggested he give her riding lessons after he found out she was scared of horses. And then, it was off to the races.

Because he was hired as Princess Diana's riding instructor, James Hewitt and the royal began spending more and more time together. They got along easily and soon formed a close bond. "It was a friendship that grew and grew because two people got on very well and enjoyed each other's company," Hewitt said during an interview with Tracy Grimshaw. He also admitted that in the early days of their acquaintance, he thought his heart was safe from getting too involved or broken. If they'd maintained a platonic friendship, things might have gone very differently. However, that closeness evolved into an affair that would shape the rest of Hewitt's life. "Only one thing went wrong," Hewitt wrote in 1999's "Love and War,"  "We fell in love." 

From that point, the pair carried out a secret relationship for years. In an Australian interview later quoted by Vanity Fair, Hewitt once said, "Suddenly, you can't get enough of each other or see each other as much as you want." He recalled that they spent many quiet nights together in the countryside when Diana could get away to see him.

It's no secret Princess Diana and King Charles III's relationship was very rocky. Even before he tied the knot with Diana, Charles was having an affair with his long-time lover, Queen Camilla. Diana knew about the affair, and she hoped to break off her relationship with Charles.

Before the wedding, Diana found jewelry that Charles planned to give to Camilla. "I went upstairs, had lunch with my sisters, who were there. And I said, 'I can't marry him. I can't do this. This is absolutely unbelievable,'" she said in National Geographic's "Diana: In Her Own Words." But by that point, she felt it was too late to back out of a royal engagement, and she sadly entered a very unhappy marriage with Charles.

When Diana began seeing James Hewitt, it's no exaggeration to say she had a lot going on in her personal life. "In the beginning, I was unaware of the extent of her unhappiness in her marriage," Hewitt told Tracy Grimshaw. As he got closer to Diana, Hewitt came to understand how much she was struggling in her marriage and tried to be a support for her, "I was giving friendship and comfort and love to somebody who was looking for that," he said.

Eventually, James Hewitt's military career called and he was deployed to the Gulf War. It was a big moment on his rise through the ranks, and he was put in command of over a dozen tanks during Operation Desert Storm. However, while his career grew, his relationship with Princess Diana struggled due to the distance.

In "Diana: Closely Guarded Secret," her former bodyguard Ken Wharfe said, "Diana felt betrayed: He had chosen his career over her. At first, she did everything she could to prevent him from going, even threatening to speak to his commanding officer." However, Hewitt could not be dissuaded from completing his military duties.

As Hewitt shared in an hour-long special titled "James Hewitt: My True Love Story", he and Diana did spend some time together in England after he came back from the Gulf War. When it was time to go to his station in Germany, Hewitt's mind was with Diana, and he struggled to stay focused. He recalled, "I couldn't be bothered with the mundane sort of barrack life, and perhaps I became a bit of a rebel, and I was meant to be studying for exams ... which wasn't easy to do, and I couldn't concentrate."

There were many things working against James Hewitt and Princess Diana's relationship. He was a military captain deployed overseas and she was married to the future king with the eyes of the entire country on her. According to Diana's royal bodyguard, their relationship fizzled when Hewitt went to the Gulf War. But Hewitt said their romance didn't reach its breaking point until the affair was leaked to the press.

"People are unaware, and I think it's important they realize the extent of the knowledge of our relationship, which was known to the press and the authorities," Hewitt said in "James Hewitt: My True Love Story." After the Gulf War finished, he stayed overseas for a few weeks. "I remember sitting down having a cup of coffee, I think, next to my tank, and someone dropped a paper on my lap with the news of our affair splashed on the front of it." From that point, their relationship, which had flown under the radar, was up for public scrutiny. Speaking to Larry King, Hewitt said that their affair was still ongoing when the news leaked, but it didn't continue long after. "I think that was the beginning of the end if you like," he said. Hewitt said they saw each other a few times after, but their love affair came to an end after five years.

James Hewitt claims that the public scrutiny was what ultimately led to the end of his relationship with Princess Diana. But after the demise of their affair, he made the details of their life even more well-known through his participation in a tell-all about his time with Diana. Anna Pasternak wrote and published "Princess in Love" in 1994. The book, which Hewitt helped to create, offered an intimate look at their time together from 1986 to 1991. According to the BBC, he was paid £300,000 for his collaboration on the manuscript.

The book was released years after his and Diana's relationship —  and after she'd separated from King Charles III, for that matter — but the scandal continued to burn. What's more, the princess felt betrayed by it. 

In her infamous interview with Martin Bashir (via PBS), Diana said, "[Hewitt] was a great friend of mine at a very difficult, yet another difficult time, and he was always there to support me, and I was absolutely devastated when this book appeared, because I trusted him, and because, again, I worried about the reaction on my children." She went on to state, "there was a lot of fantasy in that book, and it was very distressing for me that a friend of mine, who I had trusted, made money out of me."

James Hewitt had a difficult time picking up the pieces after his breakup with Princess Diana. He soon retired from his military career, and was struggling to find his way. On top of that, he was the subject of a lot of public interest — and a lot of it wasn't positive. And when he agreed to contribute to "Princess in Love," that generated even more public interest, as many saw it as a way to profit off of his connection to the royal family. It was a lot to take on at once for someone who'd only recently become a public figure. 

Years later, he shared with Inside Edition that he had thoughts of suicide during that period (via Daily Mail). He remembered one specific day when he decided to go to France, with the plan to end his life once he was there, but fortunately his mother interefered. "Then my mother insisted on coming with me. If she hadn't, I would probably have shot myself. So I owe her my life really," Hewitt said. "I felt I had let people down — probably myself, my family, my friends, the nation, the army, my regiment. Other than that, no one at all."

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In 1997, Princess Diana died in a tragic car accident at the age of 36. Two years after her death, James Hewitt released a memoir, "Love and War." It details his life, career, and romance with the late princess. The memoir offered an especially intimate look at his time with Diana from his own voice. Although he'd collaborated with Anna Pasternak on "Princess In Love," this publication gave him the chance to set the record straight, as he saw it. He told People that he wrote the book to help himself move on. "There has been so much rubbish written about me — I wanted to tell the truth," Hewitt said.

As he aged, Hewitt republished under new names with additional chapters. In 2005, it was released as "Moving On," and again in 2017 as "A Love Like No Other – Diana and Me." Looking back on his time with Diana, Hewitt wrote, "I feel blessed that she loved me and we were able to enjoy a few short years which reached heights of happiness I have never known before or since."

After the affair between James Hewitt and Princess Diana became public, rumors began to circulate about Prince Harry's parentage. Many royal fans and conspiracy theorists have wondered if Hewitt was the true father of Prince Harry. Like Harry, Hewitt is red-haired; King Charles III's hair was brown before it turned white.

In his book "Spare," Prince Harry recalled that Charles used to make jokes about these rumors. "Who knows if I'm really the Prince of Wales? Who knows if I'm even your real father? Maybe your real father is in Broadmoor, darling boy!" he remembered his father saying to him in a passage later quoted by Harper's Bazaar.

Despite all the chatter and speculation, James Hewitt maintains that Charles is the true father of Prince Harry. In a 2017 Channel 7 interview (via "Good Morning America"), Hewitt insisted that he is not Harry's biological dad. He believes the rumor has yet to die down because it still sells papers and gets clicks. 

James Hewitt has treasured items from his time with Princess Diana, most notably the love letters they exchanged. These intimate mementos were intended for Hewitt, but with so many royal fans, there are plenty of eager buyers with interest in purchasing such documents. In 2024, word got out that Hewitt was shopping the letters around and was looking to sell them for $1 million.

Other letters from Princess Diana have been released over the years, but these particular notes seemed especially intimate. Even decades after her death, Princess Diana has a special place in the hearts of the people, and many found the idea of pawning off her personal correspondence to be an invasion of her privacy. As royal expert Ingrid Seward told The Sun, "James Hewitt has betrayed Diana in so many ways so this is just the final insult."

Rumors of him selling the letters were sparked by Hewitt bringing them to an auction house to be appraised. However, his rep told The Sun that he never planned to sell or release the letters. The spokesperson stated, "Heritage Auctions were approached on behalf of a representative of James Hewitt solely to value and authenticate the letters for personal reasons and insurance purposes."