How Barack And Michelle Obama's Marriage Changed After Leaving The White House

Being the president and first lady of the United States takes a toll on a marriage. While typical marriages are expected and required to be a priority, the First Couple can do anything but that. Unfortunately, the sacrifice cuts deep, even with power couples like Michelle and Barack Obama, renowned for their stunning relationship.  In Barack's memoir, "A Promised Land," the former president explains how much strain the White House and presidency put on their union. He revealed that Michelle, who had never been fond of politics, was visibly upset when he informed her of his intentions to run, and that things only worsened during his tenure.

Heartbreakingly, the former president explained that the responsibilities of being president put a constant background stress on their partnership. It also affected their closeness, leading to a loneliness that kept him awake at night. He recounted reminiscing about the days when their relationship was easier and smiles were more frequent. "My heart would suddenly tighten at the thought that those days might not return," he wrote (via People). Despite the obstacles, the Obamas persevered through the hard times, and once the pair said goodbye to the White House, they were able to prioritize their relationship once more.

In June 2023, during Barack Obama's interview with CBS, Nate Burleson asked the former president a deeply personal question. "We had your wife Michelle on the show, and she had mentioned that for about 10 years of the marriage, she really didn't like you. So, asking for a friend, how do you get back in good graces again?"

With a laugh, the former president responded that leaving the White House helped tremendously, as it allowed him and Michelle to spend more time together. Barack Obama also touched on the subject in an interview with People in November 2020. He elaborated that leaving the White House was a massive relief, and although it took some time to discuss their relationship issues, it allowed them to open up, breathe, and relax. Barack added that the change made Michelle "more relaxed and more joyful," which was what they needed to rebuild their friendship. He clarified that his family felt incredibly blessed to live in the White House, but leaving it was a key ingredient to rediscovering their love.

Michelle Obama also spoke to People about how the end of their White House tenure transformed their marriage in November 2018. "We have dinners alone and chunks of time where it's just us — what we were when we started this thing: no kids, no publicity, no nothing. Just us and our dreams," she explained. She sweetly added that they are "finding each other again."

Leaving their roles as president and first lady also allowed them to take vacations. After Donald Trump officially became president, the Obama family vacationed in Palm Springs for much-needed family time. After this, Michelle and Barack took another private vacation in the British Virgin Islands. This romantic getaway allowed them to recapture some of their magic through shared activities like swimming and conversing.  It also gave them room to catch up on some activities previously restricted during Barack Obama's presidency. For example, due to safety concerns, Barack had been barred from surfing while in office. The newfound freedom from certain security protocols and the absence of the hidden rituals Barack Obama followed during his presidency offered the couple the room to be themselves and reinvigorate their connection.