How Comfortable Is Too Comfortable In A Relationship? Here Are The Signs

There is no better feeling than when you're in a relationship where you can feel comfortable being yourself around your partner. This shows a level of trust and vulnerability that encourages healthy, thriving connections. But is there such a thing as being too comfortable when with someone? At the beginning of a relationship, people put a lot of effort into planning dates, their appearance, and prioritizing the new budding connection. It's normal for the initial excitement and shyness that we experience at the beginning of a coupling to fade as it transitions out of the honeymoon period.

Problems can start to arise when you and your partner stop putting as much effort into the bond, which is a telltale sign that you are too comfortable with one another. Psychologist Piper Grant tells Bustle, "When you become too comfortable in a relationship, you run the risk of not prioritizing the relationship."

Nicole Sodoma, a divorce attorney and author of "Please Don't Say You're Sorry", tells PureWow, "Some couples think that as long as they are together it counts as 'time spent,' but if you're both on your phones, computers, etc. it's not the same as actually engaging in quality time spent together." Being with your partner without engaging with them isn't a form of quality time and shouldn't be the only way you spend time with them.

If you can't remember the last time you and your partner went on a date, you may be too comfortable together. It's important to always prioritize your relationship, and one way to show you care for one another is to continue to plan and go out for dates. Dates are opportunities where you can spend quality time together and genuinely communicate instead of just watching TV or scrolling on your phones next to one another. Being present and communicating with your partner will lead to a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Putting things off is another sign that you're not prioritizing your relationship. Difficult conversations should be addressed, and making time for them rather than putting them off shows your partner you care about nurturing and strengthening your bond. This is one of the most important healthy relationship habits to put first. If you're nervous about having tough conversations with your partner, talk to them about how you feel. According to psychologist David J. Glass, putting off talking to your partner about hard topics can leave them feeling anxious and unsure whether they can talk about their needs, issues, and inner feelings (via Bustle). 

This can leave your partner feeling unsure and can cause communication breakdowns. Communication helps de-escalate situations and solve minor issues before they develop into bigger, more serious problems. If you both have trouble finding a good time to talk to one another, plan for and set aside a time to communicate with your partner so that you both are prepared.

As a relationship progresses, you become used to having your partner in your life and may start to take them for granted. It's vital to never take your partner for granted, especially when they're there for you and provide you with emotional support. Simple gestures like making you a cup of tea or preparing dinner can be easy to overlook, especially when it's something that happens daily. Saying thank you shows your partner you're appreciative of them and grateful for what they do for you.

"Complacency in relationships is a feeling of being satisfied with the current state of your relationship, without thinking critically or indeed having awareness of how others may be feeling," psychologist Kayla Steele tells Refinery29. Although it's great to feel satisfied and happy with your partner, becoming too complacent can lead to feelings of resentment and tension when the other person doesn't feel valued.

As you get to know someone better and on a deeper level, you both may start to feel more comfortable making snide or sarcastic remarks. This might not seem like too big of a deal, but over time it can lead to feelings of resentment and your partner feeling disrespected. When you feel annoyed or upset by your partner, do your best to avoid making snarky or cutting comments. Psychologist Piper Grant tells Bustle, "This comfort with saying these type of comments can be masked with the feeling that a person is just more comfortable to speak their mind, but it's about how the comments are said rather than speaking your truth."

Before you say something in the moment, think about how your remarks will make your partner feel. Ask yourself if your comment is helpful and constructive, or if it's hurtful and will just add fuel to the fire.

As you grow with your partner, you become much busier with the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities of life. Nicole Sodoma tells PureWow,  "For many couples, especially those with children, their conversations can be dominated by arranging schedules and organizing to-do's — figuring out who is going to do what and where and at what time." Although it's good to communicate about the logistics of your daily schedules, it's just as important to set aside time to talk about deeper, more emotional topics.

Open up a discussion to talk to your partner about how you're feeling and what's been on your mind. If your schedules are extremely busy, carve out one evening a week where you and your partner can connect on a deeper level. There's nothing wrong with scheduling talks in your relationship, and this can end up making your relationship stronger and happier in the end.