Tragic Details About Jelly Roll's Wife, Bunnie XO
At one point or another, most people experience hardship, hurt, aggravation, or betrayal, yet few have used their influence to share their experience and open up the floor to tough conversations to the extent that entrepreneur and podcaster Bunnie XO has.
Alisa DeFord, better known by her stage name, Bunnie XO, is a businesswoman and bare-all content creator who has built her brand on her larger-than-life, street-wise, and sexually liberated personality. Her ability and desire to share details about her less-than-picture-perfect life make her a beacon of hope and growth for anyone who has experienced rough patches in life, and it allows onlookers to admire Bunnie XO's transformation with greater awe and respect. Bunnie isn't afraid to display the good, bad, and the ugly for her fans, whether that means using expressive adult language or posting photos and videos of herself without her usual high-glam makeup.
She has used her knack for open communication to create a successful podcast, "Dumb Blonde," wherein she invites a wide array of celebrity guests, including her husband, country music star Jelly Roll, and other professionals, to discuss deep-cutting topics most other creators would shy away from. The unfiltered, utterly honest format of "Dumb Blonde" showcases Bunnie XO's devotion to transparency with her fans, her guests, and herself, and such openness has led to intense discussions about the tragic details of her life as a child and young adult who spent years struggling to survive in an unkind and unsympathetic world.
She struggled with the mother figures in her life
In different episodes of "Dumb Blonde," Bunnie XO gave some insight into her past and family life, allowing listeners to understand how the actions of the mother figures impacted the path of her life. While being interviewed by her husband, Jelly Roll, in an episode of her podcast, she explained that her biological mother was an exotic dancer, and when Bunnie XO was 3 months old, she left her young daughter and partner, Bunnie XO's father. She also notes that the relationship she had with her stepmother, Michelle, was strained and abusive, and the scars from that painful experience deeply inform her actions as a stepmother to Jelly Roll's daughter, Bailee. Speaking on this subject during an earlier episode, she states, "I learned from her that I did not want to be that woman. I never want to make a child feel the way my stepmother made me feel."
Despite the heartbreaking discord between them, Bunnie XO conscientiously reflects on the circumstances that may have led to her stepmother's behavior, saying, "Michelle was young, you know, my dad's a f**king old pervert ... She was 17 when they got married, and it was a baby raising a baby. You know, she came from a super abusive household."
In her early 20s, Bunnie XO reconnected with her biological mother through AOL chat, and the pair have since cultivated a relationship through mutual understanding and respect.
She ran away from home at 14
Having dealt with verbal and physical fighting with her stepmother, Bunnie XO realized that her home environment was not a place where she felt she could be at peace, and her complicated relationship with her parents ultimately led to her decision to run away from home as a young teenager permanently. She recalled the story for her husband during her podcast, "I left home finally, for my last final f**king hoorah, at 14 ... I loaded a bag of clothes – my parents had my window nailed shut, and I unscrewed it. I don't know why they would ever think that I would never figure that out. Packed up a bag of clothes, had my girl, Lisa waiting for me around the corner, and never went back home."
Harkening back to the issues she faced with her relationship with her stepmother at the time, she elaborates further on the circumstances that led her to permanently remove herself from her parents' household at such a young age during an episode of "Dumb Blonde." She explained, "It was on my heart as a child at 14 that, you know what, I need to leave that situation. One, to make my dad's life easier, and two, to make my f**king life easier because I was tired of fist-fighting with this woman every day."
She was permanently kicked out of school in 10th grade
Bunnie XO's run-in with the education system was an action-packed series of events, to say the least. Due to a few back-to-back moves in her early childhood, she had to change school districts a few times before her family eventually settled in Henderson, Nevada, just outside of Las Vegas. In her podcast, she disclosed that she began facing serious disciplinary action in school in junior high for fighting with other students. As she grew older, the fighting persisted, resulting in her expulsion from at least two different schools.
After a particularly brutal fight in the tenth grade (one which resulted in the principal having to sit on her to keep her from continuing the fight with the other girl), she was permanently expelled from the public school system. She had to complete her high school education by taking the GED later on.
Bunnie XO didn't seem to hold on to any resentment toward her former educational institutions and administrators and even took a moment to acknowledge the principal responsible for her major expulsion that fateful sophomore year. She said, "He was so cool, Mr. Gunderson. Shoutout if you're watching this or anybody who knows Mr. Gunderson. He was awesome. He was really a cool principal. He tried so hard to give me so many chances."
She navigated life as a sex worker in Las Vegas
The adult industry was not Bunnie XO's first exposure to the workforce. Since leaving her parents' home, she found work as a lifeguard for two years and later worked in real estate as a mortgage broker in Las Vegas. She realized very soon after starting her office position that many of the women she worked with supplemented their income by dancing at clubs. Enticed by the prospect of earning more than her meager mortgage broker checks, she decided to give dancing a try. At 19, she accompanied an associate of hers to a club called Cheetah's in Las Vegas. Bunnie XO admits to feeling incredibly nervous during her first night of performing, but her nerves on stage were nothing compared to the turmoil she felt after receiving a certain lewd request later that night.
In her podcast, she tells the story of how a man at the club offered her $700 to perform a kink act for him (which involved giving him a kick) in the VIP room. Though Bunnie XO fled the area, feeling very uncomfortable with the request, her co-worker took the man up on his offer. Following that first night of performing, she decided to take a step back, but she ultimately returned to dancing at 21. She kept a day job for years, citing an internal moral dilemma that she struggled with on account of her religious upbringing.
Before long, she was getting offers for paid intimacy, which she accepted, and she eventually became what she calls a "high-class call girl."
She's dealt with drug addiction
On her podcast, Bunnie XO reflects on a period in her life when she was heavily addicted to Xanax, which, according to Medical News Today, is a drug prescribed to patients suffering from generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Due to its sedative effects and the speed at which the body builds up tolerance, Xanax has become one of the most heavily abused drugs in the years since its boom in popularity, per Addiction Center.
Bunnie XO recounts the horrors of her addiction and subsequent recovery, explaining that it was a time in her life that made her truly appreciate and respect her biological mother, who also struggled with drug abuse, because of the emotional support she offered during that dark period. She recalls the interaction with her mother, saying, "The one reason I respect my mom so much is because there was a time in my life when I was super addicted to Xanax. I'm talking about overdosing twice on it, was just f**ked up, and I would call my mom when I finally made the conscious decision to get off of it ... I called my mom every night at like two or three in the morning, just bawling my eyes out. And I even told her, 'I don't want to end up like you.' Like, I was so — not mean to her, but just so honest — and I was just like, 'I don't want to, this isn't me. I don't want to be addicted to pills. I'm going to break this habit.' And she was just there for me."
She was married twice before she married Jelly Roll
Bunnie XO is proud of her ability to be completely transparent about her past, not only with her fans and listeners but with her husband as well. She made it clear during an episode of her podcast that Jelly Roll was fully aware of the nature of her career and her relationship history before they ever got together.
The subject of her previous marriage was a lighthearted talking point during her interview episode of "Dumb Blonde," and it seemed at times that Jelly Roll remembered more about Bunnie XO's past marriages than she did, much to the amusement of both. She took a moment to elaborate on those past spouses, sharing details about how and why they tied the knot, and why the relationships eventually ended.
Starting with her first marriage, Bunnie XO admitted that the only reason she married was in an attempt to earn sympathy from a judge, as the husband in question was on trial and about to be sentenced to time in prison at the time of their nuptials. The attempt didn't render the result they were hoping for, and her husband went to prison anyway. They remained married while he was incarcerated, and it was only after his release that they decided the union wasn't going to work, and they got a divorce. Years later, she married her second husband, and they stayed together for five years. The marriage eventually broke down due to her husband's lack of ambition and personal accountability.
She endured an abusive relationship before meeting Jelly Roll
One of the darkest and most gut-wrenching tragedies of Bunnie XO's life was the intensity of the abuse she endured at the hands of the man she was in a relationship with at the time that she met Jelly Roll. Bunnie XO recounts the unthinkable extent of the life-threatening, physical, mental, and emotionally degrading harm she endured during that relationship in the episode of her podcast where she was interviewed by her. She, with commendable grace, paints a heartbreaking picture of the suffering she faced and eventually overcame with time, distance, and healing. Bunnie XO's testimony was shared not only to shed light on the pervasiveness of domestic violence in the world today but to offer hope to those who may find themselves in similar situations or those who are still mending the wounds left behind by abusive partners, whether they be visible, physical scars, or emotional and mental markers on the minds and hearts of survivors.
Bunnie XO described in detail the isolation and control her former partner had over her as well, and further recalled the extensive injuries he inflicted, including a crushed larynx that nearly ended her life. Jelly Roll, who very gently and conscientiously conducted this segment of their interview, commended his wife for her strength, perseverance, and determination to seek help and healing.
Dealing with people doubting her relationship with her husband
One persistent misconception that Bunnie XO has had to deal with after the onset of her husband's fame is that people believe that she was only attracted to him for his wealth and success, but the facts of the matter prove otherwise. Bunnie XO and Jelly Roll met at a point in time when she was immensely more financially successful and stable than he was. When they were first introduced to one another, Jelly Roll was a struggling artist living out of rental vehicles and couch surfing. Meanwhile, Bunnie XO had her own home, cars, and expendable income. Knowing this, it's no surprise that she takes offense at the accusation of being a gold digger or a groupie.
Fame and fortune weren't the root of their connection. In fact, Bunnie XO explains that upon meeting Jelly Roll for the first time, she saw something in him that made her deeply desire to know him more. "When I met you, I can't describe that feeling, and it's not bulls**t. Like, people are probably like, 'Oh yeah, she's really putting it on,' ... The day that I met J [Jelly Roll], he is not my type. I never knew who he was, so I definitely wasn't a groupie. I had my own f**king money; I had my own life going on. The day I met him, I just knew that we were going to be something."
Helping her step-daughter through their mother's addiction
In 2017, amidst Jelly Roll's ex-partner's struggle with addiction, Bunnie XO helped her husband gain custody of his daughter, Bailee. Bunnie has made her tender feelings for her stepdaughter known, confessing that Bailee has completely won her heart and that being her stepmother is an immense joy and privilege. Though the journey toward becoming a cohesive blended family was rocky at times, Bunnie XO and Bailee have created a tight bond with one another through their shared experiences and the former's compassion for Bailee's struggle with her mother's situation, especially considering her own past with addiction.
Bunnie reflects on the growth of her and Jelly Roll's relationship with Bailee in an episode of her podcast, saying, "When we first got Bailee, she wanted nothing to do with us. She was like, all about mom, which is understandable – that's all she knew ... her mom was feeding her a bunch of bulls**t about J [Jelly Roll] and just, you know, was doing things a mom shouldn't do to kids ... We really had to earn Bailee's respect, and I've watched J literally go through leaps and bounds to just prove to that little girl that he's never going to let her down."
She had to cope her feelings about continuing her career in sex work while married
Independence is a quality of life and character that Bunnie XO takes incredibly seriously, especially regarding financial independence. Given her long history of fending for and supporting herself, it is immeasurably important for her to maintain a firm grasp on not only her own money but on her own merit and earning ability as well. In the spirit of consistent transparency, she informed Jelly Roll of this character trait, and he accepted her fully despite the nature of her profession. In a Facebook post Bunnie XO shared to explain her career timeline in relation to her marriage, she wrote, "I have always worked & made money on my own. When I married J [Jelly Roll], I refused to give up my independence & rely solely on him. And to be honest, he never once asked me to. He knew how important it was to me to make my own money."
Though Jelly Roll did encourage Bunnie XO to diversify her career interests, it wasn't for the selfish sake of getting her out of sex work for his own comfort. Bunnie spoke about the importance of having an exit strategy for people who work in some of the less sustainable fields of the adult industry. She explained that it is hard to understand the necessity of having a plan for the future whenever one makes as much money as she was in that venture. However, like all careers, there comes a time when retirement is imminent, and next steps are necessary.